Round 9… A largely fruitful round of fantasy footy for most, unless you owned Callum ‘Pills, Thrills’ Mills. In that case, commiserations and may your season rest in peace!

Read on for your weekly fix of corrosive fantasy footy chat!

9 down, 15 to go… Must be time for The Weekend That Was!

Richmond vs Geelong

Studs

Taranto (129) – TT to ton up in AFL Fantasy? Just about put your house on it. 48 points alone it tackles to make it 9/9 100+ scores. Cheeky VC loop also!

Short (113) – Since I mentioned him in my weekly buy, hold, fold column Short’s scores read 123, 102 and 113. Bit in that.

Duncan (109) – About damn time Mitch! After three weeks of utter garbage, Mitch rediscovered his ability to find the pill racking up 25 touches and 10 marks. I still wouldn’t be touching him with a 10-foot pole, however!

Rioli (102) – After getting off to a flyer, Rioli’s night looked to be in jeopardy after hurting his ankle in Q2… He played on even though he wasn’t moving at all well! A+ for commitment to the cause, Dan.

Duds

Bolton (66) –

West Coast vs Gold Coast

Studs

Rowell (142) – Ooft that Optus grass must have been tasty! 68 points alone in tackles is absurd from Rowelly. The man haaaaaates an uncontested possie!

Kelly (101) – Might well nickname him “Limo”, he’s carrying at least 22 other traffic cones at present.

Ginbey (96) – For those who are behind the pack and had to hold, lucky bastards! He has always had this in him as evidenced by his early scores, but with a five round average a tick above 50 this was a pleasant surprise for 49% of the comp still running with him!

Duds

Fiorini (65) – Mmmm… So it’s not the end of the world but given I jumped on the pasta this week I apologise to the wider fantasy community for this sub-par showing.

Ellis (48) – POD of death.

Sydney vs Freo

Studs

Errol (153) – Back to back 150+ scores for King Errol! Backed up a 37 disposal game with 39 on the day and kicked a couple of snags to go with it. Another jet I don’t own…

Darcy (115) – Whilst a lot of the spotlight has been on the Ro/English combo, Darcy has quietly gone about his work to average bang on 100! Not much more you could ask of the big ruck dog.

Serong (109) and Bray (105) – The two prime movers of the Dokers midfield enjoyed their lick of the ice-cream with 33 and 31 disposals respectively! Serong has been nothing short of a revelation this season and Bray just keeps doing Bray tings.

Young (108) – Three pump ups on the trot for the elite kicking, long-haired yahoo from Freo. After all of the ups and downs, he has averaged 90 through nine games – not bhed!

Duds

Spuddy Buddy (27) – An undisputed champion of our game but after yet another loss it’s time to blood some youngsters!

Mills (3) –

Norf vs Port Adelaide

Studs

Goldstein (128) – Goldy winding the clock in a vintage display with 24 disposals and a mammoth 56 hit-outs! Christ almighty that’s impressive.

Butters (118) – 2×110+ scores in a row and Butters hasn’t burnt anyone by going <80 for the last six weeks! If you didn’t jump on it’s probably too late, if you did, well played!

Ziebell (104) – Quiet start but as always, found a way to 100+ with kick-ins and cheap +6’s! Fantasy gold.

Duds

Rozee (79) – Piece of piss of a matchup and decides to roll around in second gear in the second half when Port were giving Norf a real pounding. Just be better, Connor.

Drury (25) – Hahahaha what a pisstake that was, Blake. Won’t even bother making puns about your name if this is what you’re going to dish up. Borderline deadweight.

Hawthorn vs Melbourne

Studs

Oliver (126) – 9/9 tons with five of those 120+… Sometimes you’ve just got to appreciate greatness!

Mitchell (95) –

Duds

Dyl Moore (63) – Wow, dynamic Dyl’s role is a genuine shamozzle. Exactly what we don’t want as fantasy coaches and exactly why we shouldn’t be touching him anytime soon!

Grundy (59) – Speaking of not touching someone anytime soon… Putrid game time and failed to record double digits on the disposal front. A big (figuratively and literally) burden for 7% of the comp!

Chandler (46) – Classic. I put the mozz on the Chand midweek stating he was a definite hold with an easy matchup… He proceeds to sh*t the bed, finishing with 0 goals from 12 disposals!

Spudd Judd McVee (39) – Mates call him cordless… Recharges all night then works for less than an hour.

Brisbane vs Essendon

Studs

Ashcroft (109) –

Redman (107) – That’s more like it, Mason! 30 touches and 7 marks in a display of what he is capable of on his day! Cheeky draft slider for a few I imagine.

Sharp (70) – With rooks faltering left, right and centre – Sharp was solid as a rock roaming a wing for the Lions! Given he has had a couple of years in the system he’s an attractive prospect albeit his inflated rookie price tag after a 56 and 70.

Duds

McGrath (69) – Not sure why I continue to mention this guy in the ‘duds’ section when this is his modus operandi…

Carlton vs Western Bulldogs

Studs

Walsh (123) – This man just does it all – fantasy all-rounder personified. He tackles, butters up for +6’s around the ground and is solid at clearance. Beast!

Bont (118) – Speaking of beasts… Commentators were labelling this a quiet night for Bont and he goes and gets to 118. Yeeeeehaw for owners!

Libba (118) – Barometer. When Libba is up the Dogs tend to be going pretty well! 26 touches, 9 tackles and ice in his veins with a crucial goal in Q4.

Doch (112) – Just Doch doing Doch things. The man just knows how to fill a stats sheet and this is only helped by splitting his time at half-back and on ball – what dreams are made of !

Duds

Marecrae Macrae (83) – Treloar out = increased CBA’s yeah? Lol nope, not possible when you’re coached by a man who is more interested in the shine coming off his chompers than playing blokes in their best position.

Cincotta (22) – Might just need to call the discount pharmacy after that mare… From the safest 70 in the game to that utter crud in another reminder that we need to be getting these rooks off the field ASA now.

Adelaide vs St Kilda

Studs

Dawson (116) – The mark of a true fantasy legend is if you barely notice them and they can still score with ease! 33 disposals, 5 marks and 5 tackles in another reminder that Daws is essential.

Marshall (116) – After coming off late in Q4 last week with an ankle concern, Ro put any doubters to bed by top scoring for a woeful Saints outfit with a uuuuuge 49 hit-outs!

Pedlar (80) –

Yet another bench play masterstroke from yours truly…

Duds

Steele (75) – Subbed off early in Q4 with a knee complaint though the Saints have labelled it a ‘precaution’. Another stroke of bad luck for owners hopefully he gets up next week!

Sinclair (72) – Concerning. He averages 4 marks and about 1.3 tackles per game. It’s just not good enough from a guy sitting at D2/D3 at this stage of the season! If he can find a way to get 5 marks and 5 tackles a game he instantly averages triple figures but for now he’s just not getting the job done.

Collingwood vs BWS

Studs

Cox (129) – Collingwood loves big Cox!

Mitchell (120) – Shades of the pig of old in this performance 36 touches, 6 marks, 4 tackles!

De Goey (120) –

Daicos (115) – Lol who needs marks and tackles when you can just bring your own Sherrin and have 41?! Genuine ball magnet.

Kelly (113) – Jet. That’s 6/7 tons from Jelly after being ruled out with concussion all the way back in R2. Just flying under the radar with 4% of the comp being rewarded handsomely!

Duds

Crisp (65) – On the bright side, keeps his consecutive games streak of 196 alive.

The Juggernaut Review

2053. And before you ask, no I don’t own Mills!

It’s official, the Juggernauts are in a rut. Let’s just recap on the pure wizardry that has been my last two weeks of trading…

ROUND 8

My trade ins combine for a whopping 91 points 😮 (Neale 67 + Angwin’s 24).

ROUND 9

Not be outdone by the other two tossers, Fiorini (65) and Drury (25) combine for a uuuuuge 90 points.

To put this in to perspective, Errol has 313 points in the past two weeks alone!

Needless to say, it will be a big week on the track for the Juggers after another performance that a bunch of fairies would have been proud of. My message to the lads: Bring your mouthguards.

We’re now three weeks away from the byes and making sure you are well structured with players spread across the month of footy will give you the best chance of capitalising on the ‘Best 18’ rule. However, don’t get tunnel vision and trade for the byes alone – we still want to be removing those rooks from our fields and improving our squads each week.

So how did we all go in round 9? Flex your score in the comments below!

Best of luck for next week legends!

Yours in fantasy,

Fantasy fanatic #70