After a torrid round 6, coaches were treated to a nice high-scoring round from the fantasy gods! We had overperformances from premos to mid-pricers to rooks to everyone between – well, for the most part…

As always, plenty to rant and rave about!

7 down, 17 to go… Must be time for The Weekend That Was!

St Kilda vs Port Adelaide

Studs

Marshall (159) – Colossal. Was the obvious VC option and got coaches off to the best possible start! 26 touches, 6 marks and 10 tackles is a good game alone not to mention the 28 hit outs.

Steele (128) –

Sinclair (119) – Started like a house on fire with 48 to QT! Did simmer a little but posted a season best with 33 disposals – eye candy under the Friday night lights with his flowing mullet and bulging calves!

Houston (117) – 60 point difference between his best and worst and we are only seven games in! Select if you enjoy experiencing heart palpitations on the reg!

Duds

Wines (65) – Wow this has been some sort of fall from grace from square bonce himself! His average is down 25 points already on last season… Could be an adventurous pick if he can show any semblance of form.

Phillipou (31) – Absolute poo.

Lord (30) – Dear Lord thank f*ck I didn’t invest in this turnip.

Brisbane vs Freo

Studs

Neale (119) – Just quietly, Neale can be snapped up for <$830K! Almost certainly the cheapest he will be this season. 35 touches, 24 contested possessions, 13 clearances and 7 tackles in a dominant display.

Ashcroft (115) –

Dunks (115) – After a pretty average start to the season, Dunks is warming nicely… Still resides in 69% of teams so its not as if he in unique but always nice to keep the tons rolling in!

Brayshaw (113) – It has been an at times frustrating ride for Bray owners… Patience may just start to be paying off! His role will always been on ball so realistically his average should never drop below 100 given what he is capable of.

Young (112) – Last time I blew smoke up his ass he responded with a 52… Lets see how he backs up this time after a 33 disposal game!

Duds

Zorko (73) – Aaaaaand ‘Spaghetti Strings’ strikes again… Shock me. Thankfully only 1% of the comp got roped into the revolving trap!

Sturt (29) – Be lucky to get a game for Sturt with that showing, Sam.

Sydney vs BWS

Studs

Green (136) – If this isn’t getting @Dua’s attention, then I don’t know what is. My word if you traded last week might well delete team! Green had 52 points alone in tackles – herculean!

Ladhams (130) – Well known around the traps for his spud-like tendencies… However, credit where credit is due! The big man was huge with 24 disposals and a goal in a narrow loss. With Hickey not far off, Ladhams is playing for his spot and did not disappoint.

Errol (116) – After a ferrol 70 last week, bounced back in the best way possible splitting his time between a wing and on ball. I doubt there is a better kick of the sherrin in the game!

Warner (113) – Fun fact: Warner has no scores between 61 and 101 and we’re through 7 games! After a piss poor showing against the pussies, much like his mate Errol, responded.

Duds

Mills (82) – Okay lets not mince our words here – this has been f*cked, Callum. After averaging 110+ last season he is now going at 89 per game! If you’ve held this long surely it can’t get much worse?! His role is all over the shop… Unfortunately versatility gives us the equivalent of sweet f*ck all as fantasy coaches.

Cumming (61) –

Western Bulldogs vs Hawthorn

Studs

Daniel (118) – The wee man stepped up in the absence of Libba in a big big way! Played a lot of time on ball and filled the stats sheet with 27 touches, 5 marks, 7 tackles and a goal.

Day (100) – Daytona. Those who held, rejoice!

Duds

Dyl Moore (66) – Mooron.

Greene (18) – Coaches were singing his praises after back to back 70’s… Only for Fergus to beat his breakeven by a measly 10 points in the pristine Marvel conditions! Clearly Lewis returning didn’t help but any danger mate?!

Weightman (14) –

Sam Mitchell (-) – Get a load of this bloke… First of all, he has two first names and then he has the audacity to sub out his name-sake (Seamus Mitchell) half way through the 3rd?! Clearly Sam is not a Seamus owner!

Melbourne vs Norf

Studs

Petracca (142) – 35 touches and 3 goals… Took the piss out of Norf all night!

Hall (136) – Filthy. Proper disgusting. The role has never been the issue, particularly when the opposition has 438564 inside 50’s… As always the question is, can his chalk-body hold up?! If so, he could be a massive left-field selection.

Sheezel (126) – Wow this kid is literally carrying the hopes of a football club 7 games into his career… A testament to a) how good he is and b) how shit Norf is as an establishment… Did someone has Tassie?

Oliver (125) – M1. Period.

Chandler (106) – The Chand! 😍 A prime example of why it’s important to pay attention to fixtures when making tight calls on which rookies to hold / fold on. With upcoming games against Gold Coast and Hawthorn, Chand is almost a certain hold for at least the next fortnight.

Duds

Rooooo (40) – Really Jacob?! An opportunity to fill his boots gone begging! Anyone who fielded being left behind.

West Coast vs Carlton

Studs

Newman (164) – Nic Newman and feasting on a rotting carcass… Synonymous. In all seriousness, he now averages 101 which for context is better than the likes of Sic Dawg and Sinclair! You wouldn’t read about it.

Curnow (151) – C.Curnow 9.3 (57) def. Traffic Cones 6.8 (44). Enough said.

Cerra (137) – Blimey. Carlton went ballistic on the fantasy front and Cerra was right in the thick of it! Huge for any draft owners out there.

Walsh (128) – Honestly, Walsh has looked elite since returning from injury and whilst this was an easy match up, he had 130 on St Kilda last week! Price may now be out of reach for many coaches but I don’t think there’s any doubt he can average at least 110 from here.

Cripps (116) – Not to miss out, Crippa helped himself to his lick of the ice-cream with 33 touches and a goal of his own! Some would say, “light work.”

Kemp (107) –

Duds

West Coast Eagles Football Club – The whole establishment! “Oh yeah but we’ve been crippled by injuries… we’ve got about 16 out” Couldn’t give a rats tossbag Simmo! I’ve seen more energy from the spectators on Antiques Roadshow.

Essendon vs Geelong

Studs

Parish (121) – Put simply the man is a ball magnet, it just seems to follow him around! 38 touches and hopefully adding a few $$$ to a phat upcoming contract!

Stringer (115) – The package delivers! Shame he is about as consistent as Australia Post these days. Spent plenty of time on ball and kicked four snags of his own when forward!

Stew (113) – Gun. He intercepts, he kicks the ball in, he butters up for his lick of the ice-cream with the cheap +6’s – everything you want from one of your back six! A great recovery from 12 at QT.

Duds

Duncan (66) – After beating up on the hapless Hawks three weeks ago, Duncs has averaged 55… Yeah, let that sink in.

Setterfield (54) – Horsesh*t. Apparently Will did not get the memo on the high-scoring… He has been solid enough but we may need to make plans sooner rather than later!

Richmond vs Gold Coast

Studs

Anderson (134) – No Touk? No worries! Ando was everywhere for the Suns, racking up 31 possies, 9 marks, 5 tackles and a goal in what was an impressive stat line!

Taranto (126) –

Short (123) – I flagged it mid-last week, the role is delicious! Granted, he is sharing kick-ins but my word don’t they love using Shorty on the way out! 32 touches and 11 marks will put him on the radar of many a coach… He has got to be considered, particularly given the next batch of DPPs are not far off!

MacPherson (119) – DMac joined in the fantasy points spree with 31 disposals and 9 marks of his own! That’s consecutive tons and the role off half-back looks safe for now! Any draft owners?

Fiorini (112) – Now then! Adversity breeds opportunity and didn’t Fiorini cash in?! He has always been able to fantasy when given an opportunity and in Touk’s absence, he stepped up! He managed 112 in just 71% game time with a measly 14% CBA’s. Fiorini boasts the coveted R13 bye… high risk, high reward stuff for those who are game!

Duds

Rioli (72) – Seemed to be rockin’ and rioli’ing ecplipsing 30 pts in Q1… Proceeded to sh*t the bed on his way to a military mediocre 72!

Weller (67) – You’d think the pristine conditions of Marvel would’ve suited this pretty boy to a tee… You’d be wrong. Probably gets a reprieve given he put together 130+ last week.

Baker (60) – Half-baked.

Crom vs Collingwood

Studs

Dawson (112) – Standard Daws. Midfield, backline? Doesn’t really matter when you’re a beast in either position.

Laird (110) –

Sidey (93) – Couldn’t give a hoot about the score but thanks for saving my tip there, Sidey!

Jones (90) – After a piss poor 30 last week, Jones responded for his coaches with 20 disposals and 2 goals! Don’t expect 90+ every week but he is there for a reason, ride the cash train and then jump ship when the time is right.

Duds

De Goey (53) – Fairy with texta drawn all over him. For the record he had six frees against! That’s gotta be some sort of record, at least for 2023?!

The Juggernaut Review

2370.

Huuuuuge round and I know I wasn’t alone! Some massive numbers being posted all over fantasy land.

After plastering a close victory all over my website about four weeks ago, the karma bus came back around as I went down in one of my league matches by a measly 10 points! I was even third top scorer out of the twenty squads for the round just to rub a bit more salt into the already open wound!

Ahhh… This game sh*ts me sometimes! Huge win for Jimmy, props to you mate!

If ever the saying “you win some, you lose some” applied, here it is!

Anyhow, onwards and upwards to next week for the Juggernauts!

We are now over a quarter of the way through the season and the strategy should revolve around getting those rooks off the ground without compromising cash generation! No doubt cash strapped coaches will be chasing value picks, in a high risk, high reward strategy. Only time will tell if these moves pay off!

So how did we all go in R7? Flex you massive score in the comments below!

Best of luck for next week legends!

Yours in fantasy,

Fantasy fanatic #70