They say that it gets easier after round 1… then on Wednesday afternoon heading into round 2 you hear that your best rookie is out due to ‘Health and Safety’ protocols and you know it’s all going downhill from there… Sure enough you get to Thursday night to see the carnage that is team selections! Fair to say that ‘oscillating wave’ analogy I spoke of last week was in a downward spiral and I don’t think anyone was spared… Strangely enough, here I am sooking about the completely inevitable – yet continue to play the sometimes unforgiving game that is AFL Fantasy!
Round 2 is done and dusted… must be time for The Weekend That Was!
Carlton vs Western Bulldogs
Studs
Cripps (123) – Total domination in the first half from Crippa where he ran rampant for 85 points to the HT break. Dogs were certainly Covid safe to Crippa in the first half, avoiding him like the plague… They did tighten up in the second half but thankfully for us coaches, the damage was done! Finished the night with 35 touches, 2 goals and a trademark 23 contested possessions.
Treloar (115) – Started in the centre bounce and showed his all-round scoring capability with 32 disposals, 7 marks, 4 tackles and a goal. Looks likely to be a top-6 forward!
Kennedy (114) – Matt Kennedy is legit this season! Again playing in that inside mid-role, amassed 31 disposals and a goal… It’s his ability to cover the ground and get from contest to contest that has caught my eye with Kennedy over the first two games. 2% ownership as of Thursday night – could be a cheeky POD!
Dunkley (112) – This was looking like an 80 until Dunks turned it on for a massive final quarter. The midfield role is looking awesome so let’s hope Dunks does not get Bevo’d*! Unfortunately for Dogs fans, he shelled a couple of crucial opportunities in front of the bog sticks!
*FYI ‘Bevo’d’ is a term coined to describe when Bulldogs coach Luke Beveridge dicks around with the magnets and changes his players role in the side consistently – generally to fantasy coaches detriment! Some may say it now fits the bill when describing ‘journo abuse…’
Z.Williams (101) – Yeah good fantasy score but the bloke is an absolute pelican… Saw him multiple times last night call for cheap inside kicks (that weren’t really on) to sacrifice going direct inside attacking 50, only to get frustrated when he didn’t get used! Turn it up Zach!
Mckay (101) and Curnow (100) – Shat all over a hapless Dogs defence to combine for 9 goals. AFL Fantasy 101: Don’t get sucked into picking key forwards…
Duds
McGovern (49) – Oh dear Gov… limped his way to 49 even with a few easy +3’s from kick-ins. Cherry on top when Hannan sat on him, taking an absolute speccy and further rubbing salt into the wound.
Ugle-Hagan (28) – Not sure what you are smoking if you own Jamarra… 3% of the competition surely taking the absolute mickey!
Durdin (22) – Way to go Corey! If you fielded him, I feel your pain… F7/F8 at best.
Sydney vs Geelong
Studs
Buddy (73) – L.Franklin, the legend becomes immortal. We are not worthy. An absolute pioneer of our great game in every sense of the word! Will go down as one of the greatest players of all time when it’s all said and done. You buddy beauty! Will probably be out with Covid, AIDS, that new mozzie virus or every other contractible disease under the sun next week!
Mills (117) – Gun, legend, star, stud, genius…. running out of superlatives to described our man Millsy! In the space of 25 games he has turned himself into a bona fide fantasy gun. He just knows how to get it done – wins clearances, tackles and loves a cheap +6 when the Swans are in possession. Could have been massive if he came back on after the 35 minutes intermission!
Close (110) – Topped the fantasy scoring for the Cats tonight with a career-best game! Finished with 18 disposals and 4 goals in what was a lone hand for Geelong.
Heeney (107) – 3 votes… I.Heeney. 5 goals from 21 touches. Who needs midfield time when you’re a three headed monster… can play mid, forward and even on a wing and is dominating from a fantasy perspective.
Lloooooooyd (106) – I was tuning in to the commentary on Friday night when BT mentioned an incredible stat… Lloyd had 133 kick-ins last season and played on (out of the square) 131 times! If my maths serves me correctly, that is 393 free points! He is adding about 20 points per game just in kick-ins – phenomenal stuff from our man Llooooyd! Surprised he didn’t go 250 with all that junk time in a 55 minute last quarter 😉
Duds
Stewart (75) – Better player than he is fantasy player… if that makes any sense. Doesn’t seem to be cashing in on the cheap +6’s like he once was.
Danger (50) – Barely sighted in Q1 when the game was on the line… Didn’t get much better for Danger over the night. Coaches have every right to be flat after this performance.
Stengle (21) –
Collingwood vs Adelaide
Studs
Keays (132) – I feel like there are still soooo many coaches that don’t take Benny Keays seriously despite putting together an elite 2021 where he averaged 108! Keays has picked up where he left off and currently has a 2-round average of 131.5 – ludicrous! Has never been a popular pick and 2022 seems to be no different sitting at just above 1% ownership.
Crisp (126) – Wow, unsurprisingly the age old rule of “don’t trade your premiums” proved a winner once again! If you traded, you are a dead set potato – no sympathy whatsoever! Big shout out to Mikayla Crisp for giving Jack a gee up during the week! :’)
Dawson (111) – This is what happens when you play the man in his best position! Dawson was awesome distributing off half-back with his lethal left foot and finished with 21 kicks and 11 marks. It comes as no surprise that the Crows love the ball in his hands…
M.Crouch (104) – This is more of what we come expect from Crouch! Boosted his numbers with 5 marks and 5 tackles. His time on ground was up and I suspect this will be the first of many tons for Matt.
Duds
Matthew Nicks (-) – Ughhhh Nicksy… So first you go and drop Milera, then you tell us “10 or 15 games from ‘Junior’ at AFL level would be a fantastic result at the end of the year.” Now Nicksy, you can do whatever the f*ck you want with your team… but don’t come telling us in round 2 that a good result for your mate ‘Junior’ would be “10-15 games”. Any danger of letting us know prior to round 1…? Absolute spanner.
In reality, it probably wasn’t rocket science to figure out that a bloke who has missed a full season through injury wouldn’t play every game… Way to go John, great pick!
Grundy (82) – Big Reg hasn’t set the world on fire so far and with scores of just 96 and 82, you wonder if coaches will jump off in a bid to save cash! I still see him as a top-2 ruck this season so it’s a definite hold!
Lipinski (69) – Can Lipinski’s missus jump on Tiktok for us this week…?
Adams (57) – Massive price drop incoming for the man made of chalk… You’re not paying the big bucks for blokes to serve up this trash!
Pedlar (27) – Wow Luke, a third of your score came from kicking a goal… Don’t be surprised if Pedlar finds himself back in the magoos next week. He’s a fringe player at best at the moment and a problem for his owners (7%).
Essendon vs Brisbane Lions
Studs
Zorko (145) –
Neale (145) – Quite possibly the most obvious fantasy pick to start a season in living memory… Well played John, well left!
Parish and Merrett (111) – Essendon’s dynamic midfield duo combined for 66 disposals and 23 contested possessions – more of the same please gents! Unfortunately, Merrett is set for a long stint on the side-line after scans confirmed a syndesmosis injury sustained deep into Q4. As sh*t as it is, he is a must trade.
Wright (103) – 2 metre Peter and his fiery red hair were on fire in the first quarter, putting together 70 points – astronomical numbers! The fact he was on track for 280 and ended up with 103 tells you everything you need to know from a fantasy perspective… Don’t do it to yourself!
Duds
Heppell (59) – 2 from 2 in the ‘duds’ for Dyson… Don’t be surprised if the streak continues! Another woeful fantasy performance for Heppell. Incredible to think that 2% of the competition is running with the former long-haired yahoo!
Caldwell (58) – *Sigh* Man these mid-pricers seduce us with some elite performances then go and d*ck us twice as hard all in the space of a week! This evens out Caldwell’s average to 80.5, so not too bad all things considered!
Rayner (43) – Another week, another performance worthy of the ‘dud’ label for Cam… Patience would be wearing thin for coaches – cue the Sunday night/Monday rage trades!
Dev Smith (18) – Didn’t realise you were playing, Dev. Inconceivable to think he has a season best average of 106!
Sharp (12) – Wouldn’t trust him running a bath let alone out on a wing for the Lions!
Port Adelaide vs Hawthorn
Studs
Boak (152) – Vintage Boak! Showed why we should continue to take him seriously as he pushes past 300 games and 16 seasons in the AFL. Will go down as one of Port’s greatest when it is all said and done!
Amon (148) – Incredible to think that 4 Port players eclipsed 120 in a 60+ point drubbing at the hands of the Hawks. Just goes to show that on the rare occasion, the result of the game doesn’t dictate the fantasy scoring. Less than 1% ownership… a sneaky POD for the adventurous coach!
Butters (137) – Wowee, how about the ceiling from Butters! He’s clearly relishing increased midfield minutes as illustrated by his 11 tackles! First of many fantasy tons in 2022 for the Port maestro.
Wines (126) – Standard day at the office for the man affectionately known as ‘box head’. Will be awesome again this year!
Ward (85) – Awesome score from the talented young hawk, particularly when you consider that he was in doubt for round 2. He will remain firmly entrenched at M8 for many coaches!
Duds
Houston (71) – One of the most traded in players this round, but some serious point-chasing if you went after Houston off the back of his 150 in round 1. Yes he will generate cash but is he really top-6 defender material?
Rozee (48) – Quickly becoming irrelevant after some pre-season hype.
Maginness (42) –
Skinner (33) – A great comeback story but unfortunately the fantasy gods don’t care how many times you’ve busted your knee! With all the carnage at selection, many of us were running with Skinner at D6… Grim.
Gold Coast vs Melbourne
Studs
Miller (147) – The man is an absolute machine! I’d comfortably say that no one runs harder than Touk does… What a pleasure (for owners) to watch Touk ply his trade week-in, week-out!
Petracca (146) – Did someone say Brownlow? Most likely has the maximum 6 votes in the bank after another spellbinding performance. 41 disposals, 7 marks and 4 tackles – he’s looking invincible at the moment!
Bowey (125) – How about that for a breakout game?! Bowey has never really been a fantasy-relevant name but he has barely put a foot wrong since making his way into the Melbourne side for their 2021 finals campaign! His previous best was 64… don’t get sucked in and go point chasing! We need to see some consistency before we fully trust him! That half-back role should remain with Salem out for the next month or two, however…
Oliver (120) – Claytonne back at it again with 34 touches and a goal! Should push 110 average by season’s end and will challenge for a top-8 mid position.
Duds
Max (80) – Who was it that was recommending that ‘set and forget’ ruck sh*t?! Pull your (very large) finger out Maxxy! Coaches can’t be settling for mediocrity when we’re paying $900K!
Rowell (46) – After such a bright start in round 1, the young sun came crashing back to earth with a thud… barely sighted in the 2nd half and had -15 points in free kicks against alone!
Ben Brown (34) –
North Melbourne vs West Coast
Studs
Ziebell (127) – The man affectionately known as Jay-Z in fantasy circles continued with his glorious role of racking up cheapies for fun! North will literally sacrifice moving the ball forward just to make sure this hack gets his lick of the ice-cream – it really is incredible viewing!
Greenwood (120) – Arguably the biggest steal in free agency history! Walked to North Melbourne and Gold Coast didn’t even get an overpriced pie and can of coke in return! Performances like this just rub salt into the wound! Had his trademark 10 tackles and always has an impact at stoppage.
Naish (92) – Who is Naish you ask… He played 9 games for the Tigers prior to being delisted in the off-season. He’s found his way to West Coast for a second chance at the big-time. He is making the most of his opportunity in what is basically West Coast Eagles 3rd grade team. Finished the day with 21 touches and 8 marks – will eclipse $350K this week so not on my radar, unfortunately.
Rioli (85) – Talk about a Rioli-coaster! Willie was initially suspended for a week for an airborne dog shot on Rowell in round 1… He later got off at the tribunal. Willie proceeded to be lay a driving tackle on North’s Luke Davies Uniacke which could land him in hot water for the second straight week! He then got coat-hangered himself during Q3 for good measure! Who knows what will happen next week – could be anything from out with H&S protocols to tampering with his ‘Gatorade’.
In all seriousness, not a bad option considering how depleted West Coast is… will hopefully get increased midfield minutes for his owners…
Duds
Simpkin (52) – Finished off 2021 like a house on fire, with 95+ in 11 of his last 12 games! Not sure what happened to him on Sunday… Any North fan who has to sit through their games week-in, week-out want to fill me in?
Darling (23) – Absolute crab. Darling is paying the price for a disrupted preseason!
Jack Williams (1) – Yeah I know what you’re thinking – who the f*ck is Jack Williams?! Chances are we’ll be none the wiser by next week (or ever)… Will be lucky to get a game in the WAFL if that’s what he’s running with. 1 solitary points in 62% time on ground – borderline impossible unless you are Samson Ryan!
Richmond vs GWS
Studs
Short (131) – Another lesson in why you don’t trade your premiums after one bad week! Short was back to his best with a monopoly on kick-ins, racking up a heap of cheap +6’s around the ground and linking up with his run from behind! Tigers clearly love the ball in his hands and as fantasy coaches that is music to our ears.
Taranto (104) – I feel like every week TT will remind me of how stupid a decision it was not to start him… The fact is, the guy is a jet, regardless of whether he is playing on-ball or forward! He doesn’t need a heap of CBA’s like some of his team mates and he is dynamite around the big sticks.
Green (102) – 2 fantasy tons from as many starts for the Canberra lad Tom Green! Is this the season where we see him breakout to become one of the games elite inside midfielders?
Rioli (101) – That’s more like it, Dan! Provided plenty of run from behind and broke the lines with his speed and generally reliable ball use. This is what had coaches excited in the preseason! The question is, can he sustain it…?
Bruhn (78) – Was a real livewire for the Giants in the forward 50 with stints on-ball. Tanner’s stocks are definitely rising, it’s just a shame that he was already priced too awkwardly to have confidence in selecting him… Will push toward $400K in the coming weeks.
Duds
Bolton (68) – How Bolton only ended up in the 60’s is mind-boggling when you consider that half his score came in a 5 minute patch in the second quarter. My advice is to avoid him like the plague (or the mozzie virus)!
Ash (60) – Seemed to be running around in circles aimlessly chasing kicks… Fair to say it wasn’t a successful strategy for Lachie and his owners. Wouldn’t trust him to find his way out of a paper bag!
Miller (25) – Anyone know who this is…?
Freo vs St Kilda
Studs
Brayshaw (181) – BOOM! Brayshaw was everywhere tonight collecting 40 disposals, 10 marks, 8 tackles and kicking a goal. What if I told you that I was strongly considering trading Steele to Brayshaw this week prior to all the carnage?! More on that in The Juggernaut Review. I’ve sung his praises multiple times and I won’t be surprised if he continues to rub it in… only 6% ownership is another big tick! Owners will be loving what he is putting out!
Ryan (127) – The man with two first names made amends for a terrible round 1 with 32 disposals (27 kicks) and 9 marks… Took a few kick-ins which will please the rare coach that owns him.
Battle (117) – What a performance from Battle! He was a brick wall down back and simply superb when the whips were cracking… Intercept machine!
Brodie (109) – I flagged it in the preseason – this is what Brodie is capable of… The fact that he only played 61% time on ground is both brilliant but also worrying… The glass half full in me says that surely his scoring will remain consistently good with more time on ground. The glass half empty in me says is his job security shaky with Mundy and Fyfe waiting in the wings? Could a couple of quieter weeks send Brodie back to the magoos? Let’s enjoy the ride for now and cross our fingers that the latter is not the case!
King (68) – Completely irrelevant in Fantasy but all hail the King! Up the Sainters and suck Sh*t Freo! We still have more premierships than you plebs!
Duds
Marshall (64) – An uncharacteristically quiet game from the big man… Didn’t manage to register double digits for disposals – something that doesn’t happen very often! If you started him, you can’t be too disappointed given the lacklustre output of the two big ‘ruck dogs’.
Serong (60) –
Walters (44) – Yikes Sonny! Anyone remember when Walters was averaging close to 95 in a season… Seems worlds apart and he is quickly becoming completely irrelevant as the young brigade take greater responsibility in the Freo midfield.
The Juggernaut Review
2129. Better, but my word what could have been! Before team selections shat all over my plans, I hatched an idea to do the following:
Steele –> Brayshaw
Milera –> Sicily (at D5 with McCartin D6 – using the cash I saved on the Steele trade to improve my backline depth so I wasn’t left playing another dud rook at D6 longer-term!).
Instead, I was left patching up my bench that was looking about as useful as tits on a bull… Yes, I do ramble on about how it is a long season but it is these defining moments that can separate a good season from a great season! It was only last year where I shafted De Goey for Mills after round 2 – and we all know how that ended up! So there I was running with some spud by the name of Sam Skinner at D6, when it could have been Paddy McCartin if I was able to execute the initial plan! Doing the quick maths and I’m already down 122 points this week alone! Steele will find his mojo but that D6 spot will continue to be an ass-wipe!
On the bright side, I managed 3 from 3 league wins and I don’t log in to see the muppet that is W.Milera occupying D5 any longer!
I’m not even going to bother with ‘early trade thoughts’ given the turn of events over the past week… May as well wait until Thursday, fully expecting carnage left, right and centre with blokes out injured, omitted, isolating with H&S protocols or the Mozzie virus!
Thanks again legends and let me know how you went in the comments!
Yours in Fantasy,
Fantasy Fanatic #70
Fantasy Fanatic 
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