With the recent unveiling of the 2022 All-Australian team, I was inspired by my stunt double (twin brother!) to create a squad for the 2022 season based purely on Fantasy numbers. Selection criteria is simple: highest averaging players and highest points scored in their respective positions across the season get a run! A starting side of 22 will be selected with an interchange/emergency in each position for a grand total of 26 players chosen. How much different will the Fantasy Fanatic’s 2022 All-Australian team be to the official AA team selected on the 24th of August? Read on to find out!

For reference: GP = Games Played, TP = Total Points, HS = Highest Score, Avg = Average Points.

Disclaimer: You’d have to do a Brian Waldron job and rort the salary cap to absurd levels to fit all these guns into your own Fantasy squad! For the purposes of this exercise, salary/price is irrelevant!

Without further ado, here is the Fantasy Fanatic’s 2022 All-Australian Team!

DEFENDERS

D1: Sam Docherty, Carlton (GP: 22 | TP: 2426 | HS: 138 | Avg: 110.3)

All hail the Doch! After he copped an unthinkable second diagnosis of Testicular Cancer back in August 2021, I don’t think many were expecting this. A testament to his character and drive to come back bigger and better! D1 by the length of the Flemington straight!

D2: Jack ‘Girthy Calves’ Sinclair, St Kilda (GP: 22 | TP: 2264 | HS: 146 | Avg: 102.9)

Beastly. Sincs consistency was a standout, only dropping below 80 once in season 2022! Enjoyed the freedom across half-back and was trusted with the kick-ins for St Kilda. Opposition teams finally cottoned on to the fact he is a weapon and put some time into him which quelled his numbers late!

D3: Jordan Dawson, Crom (GP: 22 | TP: 2217 | HS: 129 | Avg: 100.8)

The boom Crom recruit didn’t let coaches down, averaging triple figures for the first time in his career after moving away from the Harbour City. Played a predominantly fantasy friendly role across half back, taking kick-ins and getting fed handballs for fun!

D4: Angus Brayshaw, Narrm (GP: 22 | TP: 2180 | HS 156 | Avg: 99.1)

There’s a reason why Melbourne locked this bloke away until the end of 2028… Demonstrated his ability to play off half-back and for the final five rounds moved into the guts to average an enormous 110! Definite watch over finals and into the 2023 preseason, particularly if he can hold defender status.

D5: Jayden Short, Richmond (GP: 22 | TP: 2153 | HS: 131 | Avg: 97.9)

Was D1 by a fair margin at round 7 continuing on from a big 2021 season across half-back to average 107 in that time! Unfortunately, Short was a victim of Dimma shuffling the magnets and he found himself playing as a high half-forward/midfielder for the rest of the season which led to a significant reduction in Fantasy output! His last ton was in R15 but did enough to sneak into D5!

D6: James ‘Sic Dawg’ Sicily, Hawthorn (GP: 22 | TP: 2121 | HS: 151 | Avg: 96.4)

Probably the most obvious starting selection in living memory with 50% of the competition enjoying a mid-pricer pumping out premo scores… As my loyal followers know, no I didn’t f*cking have him all season long. Took the absolute mickey with 151 in R23 to sneak into D6! Probably single-handedly won a few league grand finals off his own boot.

INTERCHANGE/EMERGENCY

D7: George Hewett, Carlton (GP: 15 | TP: 1475 | HS: 119 | Avg: 98.3)

Was a lock for an on field spot until a lower back injury resulted in Hewwy missing the final five games of the season despite an optimistic prognosis. A popular mid-price selection who played midfield but could be selected as a Defender. Fantasy gold!

Unluggy: Dan Houston, Tommy Stewart, Shannon Hurn, Simon Prestigiacomo.

MIDFIELDERS

M1: Rory ‘Desk Pig’ Laird, Crom (GP: 20 | TP: 2407 | HS: 163 | Avg: 120.4)

Wow. Desk Piggery. Genuinely ludicrous some of the numbers he was putting up this season! Between rounds 14 and 21, Laird had a lowest score of 124! That is not a typo, an eight week patch where his floor was 124! His tackling was a real feature, particularly in R18 where he racked up 20 tackles (+80!) vs Collingwood. Undisputed Fantasy MVP of season 2022.

M2: Andy Brayshaw, Fremantle (GP: 22 | TP: 2472 | HS: 181 | Avg: 112.4)

How good is this kid?! Took his game to giddy new heights this season and was recognised by his peers as the AFL MVP for 2022. His 181 in a losing effort vs St Kilda (Up the Sainters!) was colossal as Bray went on to rank #1 for total Fantasy points this season.

M3: Clayton ‘Clarry’ Oliver, Narrm (GP: 21 | TP: 2359 | HS: 151 | Avg: 112.3)

Safe as houses! That’s 7/7 100+ average seasons for Clarry who continued on his merry way missing just the one game with a thumb injury. Only two scores below 80 illustrates just how good he was!

M4: Callum ‘Pills, Thrills’ Mills, Sydney (GP: 22 | TP: 2443 | HS: 162 | Avg: 111)

Yes I do have a bit of a soft spot for Pills, Thrills as he helped me all the way to #70 in 2021, but the numbers don’t lie! Other than a random 54 in R16 vs Essendon, was solid as a rock with his ability to fill the stats sheet. Thoroughly deserving of the M4 position.

M5: Touk Miller, Gold Coast Suns (GP: 22 | TP: 2416 | HS: 147 | Avg: 109.8)

After an uber 2021 where he averaged 120+, Touk inevitably copped a bit more heat from opposition which did quell his scoring in some games! However, in typical Touk style, his tireless work ethic shone through as he topped 130+ on five occasions to finish #4 for total points for the season! Legend.

M6: Jack Steele, St Kilda (GP: 18 | TP: 1988 | HS: 154 | Avg: 110.4)

The other million dollar man was again solid despite five weeks off with an AC joint injury. You just know what you are going to get with Steeley as he posted sub-90 on only two occasions! Those who jumped on a discounted post-bye/injury Steele would have been cheering.

M7: Lachie ‘Jye’s Bunny’ Neale, Brisbane Lions (GP: 22 | TP: 2354 | HS: 145 | Avg: 107)

Was basically allowed to roam free by opposition teams and take the mickey for much of the year… His three lowest scores were 79 in R15 (tagged by Harmes), 67 in R17 (tagged by Caldwell) and 60 in R22 (tagged by Windhager)! Despite these poor scores late in the season, the 2020 Brownlow medallist did enough early in the season to lock down a spot at M7!

M8: Brad Crouch, St Kilda (GP: 21 | TP: 2235 | HS: 147 | Avg: 106.4)

The final midfield spot came down to a number of players, until eventually yours truly and his St Kilda bias came through to get B.Crouch over the line… In all honesty, had a better season by the numbers than Walsh/Macrae and played two extra games than Merrett! He has never lost his ability to find the pill and was a massive POD for those who backed him in! Great selection.

INTERCHANGE/EMERGENCY

M9: Zach Merrett, Essendon (GP: 19 | TP: 2036 | HS: 172 | Avg: 107.2)

After a sluggish start to the season, Zach caught fire with a six round average of 133 between R15 and R20, reminding coaches why he was earmarked as a future pig by the DT Talk lads some years ago! Sadly, cost many a coach in a sudden death semi-final with 55 in R21 but did enough to sneak in as an emergency.

Unluggy: Sam Walsh, Jack Macrae, Bodhi Uwland.

RUCKS

R1: Max Gawn, Narrm (GP: 20 | TP: 2064 | HS: 152 | Avg: 103.2)

The rucks weren’t exactly kind to us this season but predictably, it was big Max Gawn who took out the R1 position! While Maxxy had a pretty average season by his lofty standards, he managed to put together 6×130+ scores including a massive 152 vs Collingwood in R21.

R2: Tim ‘Speak-a-no’ English, Western Bulldogs (GP: 15 | TP: 1527 | HS: 138 | Avg: 101.8)

Coaches who started with Timmy were strutting around like a peacock after five rounds with the big fella going 100+ on every occasion! He went to play just a further 10 games as he battled through a hamstring and concussion issues but still did enough to slot in at R2.

INTERCHANGE/EMERGENCY

R3: Reilly O’Brien, Crom (GP: 20 | TP: 1866 | HS: 159 | Avg: 93.3)

‘ROB roulette’ was the term coined by my mate Damo earlier in the season… How accurate did that turn out to be?! Scored 50’s and 60’s on multiple occasions but pumped out a huge 159 in R11 vs Geelong after spending a couple weeks in the Magoos! When it was all said and done, averaged a more than solid 93 and only missed the two games. Just pipped Jarrod Witts at the post with a huge 128 in the final round!

Unluggy: Jarrod Witts, Mark Blicavs, Samson Ryan.

FORWARDS

F1: Josh Dunkley, Western Bulldogs (GP: 22 | TP: 2393 | HS: 139 | Avg: 108.8)

Gun. Midfield? Forward? It didn’t really matter with Dunks who was the 6th highest scoring player of 2022! Coaches had their doubts with the Doggies stacked midfield but Dunks put that to bed early in the season to put together another ripper campaign!

F2: Marcus Bontempelli, Western Bulldogs (GP: 21 | TP: 2112 | HS: 140 | Avg: 100.6)

Speaking of stacked… Dog #2 @ F2! Bont was always going to be a lock once he added FWD status at R12. He went on to average 103 from that point on with a body of work commanding a spot at F2.

F3: Bazlenka S(n)miff, Western Bulldogs (GP: 16 | TP: 1689 | HS: 154 | Avg: 105.6)

Another Doggies gun that we could select as a forward… Pure Sh*thousery! Could have pushed Dunks for F1 if he didn’t land himself in hot water for Stevia-related indiscretions post-bye… In all seriousness, a well deserved spot at F3 after adding FWD status at R12.

F4: Luke Parker, Sydney (GP: 22 | TP: 2164 | HS: 123 | Avg: 98.4)

The Swans warrior put together another typically consistent campaign. After notching up just one ton in the first month playing predominantly as a forward, he gained FWD status in R6 only to return to a pure midfield role in the back half of season 2022! Fantasy gold.

F5: Stephen Coniglio, GWS (GP: 21 | TP: 2066 | HS: 130 | Avg: 98.4)

It was a tale of two seasons for Cogs who (much to the dismay of coaches!) sat in a forward pocket for rounds 1-9 averaging a pox 84 until Leon Cameron’s tenure came to an end. From R10 onwards, Cogs was back where he belongs as a midfielder and averaged a huge 109 from that point on! Well and truly deserves his spot at F5.

F6: Adam Treloar, Western Bulldogs (GP: 21 | TP: 2024 | HS: 134 | Avg: 96.4)

Rounding out the on-field forward line, Adam Treloar gets the nod ahead of several worthy candidates! Averaged the best of the rest and only missed the one game of footy. That’s good enough for me and why he is locked in at F6!

INTERCHANGE/EMERGENCY

F7: Will Brodie, Fremantle (GP: 22 | TP: 2099 | HS: 128 | Avg: 95.4)

From speculative mid-pricer to being selected in the Fantasy Fanatic’s 2022 All-Australian Team. It just makes you wonder how in the f*ck Brodie struggled to get a game at the Gold Coast for five years! He has been nothing short of phenomenal as a full-time midfielder at Freo. Time on ground dipped as low as 61% but that doesn’t matter when you are Will Brodie.

Unluggy: Dyl Moore, Connor Rozee, Mitch Duncan, Kepler Bradley.

Captain: Rory ‘Desk Pig’ Laird, Crom.

You’d back in the Desk Pig to lead from the front! Hopefully his display of pig-like tendencies would rub off on some of his peers!

Vice Captain: Andy Brayshaw, Freo.

Naturally, as the second highest averaging player and top points scorer for season 2022, slots in as VC!

Final Squad

DEFENDERS:

• Sam Docherty, Carlton
• Jack “Girthy Calves” Sinclair, St Kilda
• Jordan Dawson, Crom
• Angus Brayshaw, Narrm
• Jayden Short, Richmond
• James “Sic Dawg Sicily, Hawthorn

EMERGENCY: George Hewett, Carlton

MIDFIELDERS

• Rory “Desk Pig” Laird, Crom (C)
• Andy Brayshaw, Freo (VC)
• Clayton “Clarry” Oliver, Narrm
• Callum “Pills, Thrills” Mills, Sydney
• Touk Miller, Gold Coast Suns
• Jack Steele, St Kilda
• Lachie “Jye’s Bunny” Neale, Brisbane Lions
• Brad Crouch, St Kilda

EMERGENCY: Zach Merrett, Essendon

RUCKS

• Max Gawn, Narrm
• Tim “Speak-a-no” English

EMERGENCY: Reilly O’Brien, Crom

FORWARDS

• Josh Dunkley, Western Bulldogs
• Marcus Bontempelli, Western Bulldogs
• Bazlenka Sm(n)iff, Western Bulldogs
• Luke Parker, Sydney
• Stephen Coniglio, GWS
• Adam Treloar, Western Bulldogs

EMERGENCY: Will Brodie, Fremantle

So, how did the Fantasy Fanatic’s 2022 All Australian Team compare to the official 2022 All Australian Team?

7 matching players and a few who featured in the ‘unluggy’ section of their particular line… World’s apart! Given my All Australian Team has about 18 midfielders, hardly surprising. Congratulations to all players selected who can now put their heads on the pillow each night knowing they have reached the pinnacle of their footballing careers! 😜

So there you have it folks, the Fantasy Fanatic’s 2022 All-Australian team! Anyone stiff to miss out (other than Samson Ryan)? Wouldn’t it be nice to have this team at your disposal! If you have any other elite content ideas, I’m all ears. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Stay tuned for more bonus off-season content to keep you engaged while the lads go on annual leave!

Cheers legends,

Fantasy Fanatic #70