Round 19… Plenty to rave and rant about on the eve of Fantasy finals with a massive four weeks ahead! No horsing around, lets get straight into The Weekend That Was!
Spudmond vs Freo Dokers
Young (132) – Bang! Anyone with the Sh*tfield/Hewwy bullets go to H.Young?! Instant rewards for those with big kahunas!
Brodie (105) – Jet. In the midst of utter chaos, Brodie has been arguably our most reliable! This is despite starting the season at <$400K with an element of risk to the selection given his history at the Suns. Yet another example of the Suns being royally d*cked at the trade table!
Short (83) – Dimma, what will it take to get this man back to half-back taking bulk kick-ins and feasting on cheap +6’s?? He has two tons in the past eight weeks playing this hybrid half-forward/mid role – to the detriment of his fantasy game and to coaches all around the land!
Balta (62) and Cumberland (71) – Wouldn’t Noah how to kick a goal under pressure! Low key though Cumberland owners would be tickled pink with that score!
Norf vs Hawthorn
Hall (122) – Back like he never left. The string could go ‘pop’ at any moment but when he is there, pumps out tons in his sleep with the most fantasy friendly role of all time! Could have been 140 if Hawthorn didn’t kick so straight.
LDU (113) –
Mitchell (106) – We know how good Titch has been at ‘Pig Park’ (AKA UTAS stadium in Launceston)… He is clearly is taking a liking to playing down in Tassie – rain, hail, arctic winds or shine!
Moore (104) – I don’t think many of us have taken Dylan Moore seriously, however, the fact is he averages 107 in his past five games! Got to be a sneaky chance to be in the mix for Roy’s Rollin’ 22, his form is demanding it.
JHF (35) – Dear oh dear. I get the feeling “what in the f*ck do I have to do to get out of this joint?” is something that crosses JHF’s mind frequently! Play like horsesh*t, sell a kidney? You name it and I’m sure JHF would low key consider it!
Sydney vs Crom
R.Laird (138) – Ridiculous. Proper ridiculous. Only the six tackles today so a bit down in that facet of the game! In all seriousness, you can see the pig-like features beginning to emerge… Pure weight of numbers from our million dollar man with 7×120+ in a row! Priceless.
Callum ‘Pills, Thrills’ Mills (118) – He wasn’t the best trade target in Fantasy land this week for no reason! Huge thrills for owners since his utterly rancid 54 about three weeks ago… Watching him sit at fullback to grab the cheapest of +6’s with 30 seconds left in the game is the type of commitment we don’t deserve, but always need!
Keays (108) – Better Benny! After copping an almightly spray from yours truly last week, Keays responded in the best way possible with a 22 touch, 12 tackle game. Shutting up now!
ROB (104) – I’m sure there were a bunch of us (myself included!) who were taking this piss out of coaches selecting ROB after his stint in the 2’s. Fair to say we’ve been left with egg on our face with Rucking Hell left, right and centre elsewhere! 5-round average of 101 if you don’t mind!
Dawson (103) – Okay so not his best score ever but when you’ve got some peanut (Clarke) hanging off you for half the game you are absolutely taking this! Showed his versatility by going forward in the second half and even spent some time on the wing.
Lloyd (80) – Unacceptable. Particularly when you consider that the Swans averaged 84 fantasy points per player… The worst better be behind him as we head into Finals!
Parnell (33) – No one is still running with Pew Pew Pew at D6 yeah??? If so, rectify ASA now.
Geelong vs Port Adelaide
Rozee (100) – Hard to find any winners in this game but Connor Rozee continues to put together great games of footy – make that a hat-trick of tons! What would have impressed Fantasy coaches the most was that he filled the stats sheet with 7 marks and 7 tackles. Continue to hold until you are given a reason to flick him.
Guthrie (74) – Anyone in an ‘elimination final’ type match up this week that had Guth unique would be understandably spewin’! His inability to fill the stats sheet (1 mark and 2 tackles) hurt him the most.
Duncan (62) – Arrgggghh I knew it wouldn’t take long for Duncs to return to his signature fadeout! 18 points in the first 10 minutes only to crash and burn to finish on 62… Could’ve at least scraped an 80 you middle-earther!
Houston (46) – If this isn’t the proverbial “straw that broke the camel’s back” then I don’t know what is… In fairness, he was subbed out with concussion which means we can already put a line through him for next week. Might be a convenient excuse to get him up to someone who doesn’t give you heart palpitations on the reg!
Danger (33) –
Brisbane vs Gold Coast
Witts (121) – Huge (both physically and literally)! A massive night at the office for Witts who amassed a staggering 50 hit outs! Joined in what turned out to be a ruck feast after a lean week for the big boys in R18.
Touk (120) – Just Touk doing Touk things. I’d argue criminally underrated outside of Fantasy circles! His consistency is what sets him apart, you just know what you are going to get and that’s no different when looking at his phat stat line on a weekly basis.
Anderson (109) – Did someone say 3rd year breakout?! Has had a massive month which included the knockout blow in their six minute massacre of Spudmond a couple weeks back.
Rich (57) – Fantasy friendly role, tick. Bulk kick-ins, tick. Team mates who want to get the nurrie into your hands at all costs, tick. Any semblance of ability, cross. Reliable hamstrings, also cross.
Rayner (40) – Anyone remember when this guy was hyped to the hilt in the preseason??? Yup, me neither!
Melbourne vs Western Bulldogs
Brayshaw (126) – Helmet head back at it with his first ton in a month! Must have had a rather inflated bonce after being named in Roy’s rolling 22 at R15. The only performance since then that has demanded a spot!
Bont (125) – Scintillating. The Bont seems to be peaking at exactly the right time for Fantasy coaches! Owners will be hoping for more of the same in the coming month, fair to say the Dogs will need every atom of the Bont firing on all cylinders!
English (116) – He doesn’t win a heap of hit outs, but my word it is nice to watch him pop up for cheap +6’s on the regular! Big men just don’t do that. The Heir apparent to Gawn in my mind.
Jamarra (77) – For all the stick I have given him, this was a coming of age performance from the former #1 pick! Five goals including that dagger from outside 50 to ice the game if you don’t mind! Plenty of highly aroused Doggies fans I suspect…
Libba (69) – Surely has more sh*t tattoos than he scored Fantasy points tonight…
Petrappa (69) – Grim. Went and ruined a good month with this literal turd of an effort. Lift!
Carlton vs GWS
Taranto (123) – This is what he is capable of, albeit with Tom Green (managed) out of the midfield mix! Hopefully a disposal efficiency of 80% is enough to see more mid-time beyond this week.
Crippa (121) –
Doch (109) – I swear the man was on 57 a couple minutes into the last… Nek Minnit he has somehow bought up a ton with another cheeky +6 out the back! You love to see it.
Preuss (105) – Oh Juicy! We’ve just about seen it all this season – a coupla elite tons, a month of solid footy, another two months completely disrupted, suspensions, umpire abeuss (mispelling intended!) Covid-19, injuries… You name it, Preussy has done it to us! Still 7% of the competition enduring that roller-coaster! Just quietly, anyone got the kahunas to go Cameron –> Preuss this week?
Himmelberg (103) – Continued on his merry way with plenty of kick-ins, cheap +6’s and his customary high kick:HB ratio (19:6 for the record!). Happy days for owners!
Cumming (60) – Hopefully you didn’t get sucked in...
Collingwood vs Essendon
Merrett (121) – This could’ve been monstrous if not for a measly 10pt last quarter! Either way, he cemented his spot as a ‘stud’ this week off 90 minutes of work… Imagine if he can put that together for four quarters!
Jamie ‘Billy’ Elliott (70) – Fantasy score aside, this was clutch. Ice in the veins kind of territory!
Crisp (80) – How much to get Mikayla Crisp back on TikTok to fire up her (and our) man?! Hasn’t tonned in five weeks now! Thankfully salvaged his score late but still no where near the mark at the moment Crispy.
Cameron (34) – Speaking of which, can we get Cammo’s missus on TikTok??? Will need more than a rehearsed spray after this performance… It won’t take a heap of $$$ to get to Big Max after his recent price falls! Mason Cox seemed to be more prominent in the ruck and had more than double Cameron’s hit outs. Concerning. Fair to say Collingwood loves big Cox!
West Coast vs St Kilda
Steele (154) – Absolute domination. A timely reminder of why this bloke is one of the best in the business! Had a record 40 disposals to go with 10 marks and 8 tackles. Just reminding the Desk Rig that he exists!
Marshall (108) – Did some say out: P.Ryder? 49 hit outs has to be some sort of record for Marshall! Given he came into the game battling the lurgy throughout the week, owners will be well satisfied.
Culley (87) – I’d love to know, what cheat codes are you using if you still have a rook sitting at F6/M8 producing this?! Kissed doesn’t even begin to describe it for those fielding! Incredible to think the lad in his second game is a walk-up starter as an onballer. Another 7 tackles this week to go with his first goal in league footy.
Gresham (45) – I flagged it a couple weeks ago, but I didn’t think he’d stink this bad vs West Coast… Only played the 61% time on ground so I am assuming something went wrong? Either way, it is a top priority trade!
Kelly (17) –
Billings (0) – Delete team. Not even taking the piss, pull the trigger!
The Juggernaut Review
2236. Not completely diabolical until you log on to see a motser of your mates cruising to 2300-2400+!
Gained a massive 200 spots in the rankings (not that I’m paying attention!) and find myself in two finals series… How I missed out in my other league basically sums up my pisstake of a season. Words will not do it justice so I thought I’d grab a screenshot to illustrate the clusterf*ck!
As a wise man once said… “This game sh*ts me.”
Be sure to head over to https://fantasy-fanatic.com/ to hear from some clown on how to assemble the ultimate spud farm and downhill ski into complete Fantasy insignificance in the space of 20 weeks!
Looking ahead, the quest for ultimate bragging rights begins! Hopefully you made the top 8 in a league and aren’t languishing in the ‘consolation finals.’ This translates to ‘Early Mad Monday’. How you play the coming weeks will be dependent on where you finished on the ladder as well as how your opponent is shaping up. If you’re sitting 5th to 8th, there’s no point playing the longer-term game when there may not be a next week – it’s now or never! If you’ve secured the double chance, first of all, well done! Second of all, you may be more inclined to player it safer in the knowledge that you get the double shot. However, straight into the prelim has a nice ring to it and means you score two weeks preparation for that all important R22! Make sure you pay attention to match ups and team selections/injuries… we’ve seen how team selections affect a player’s role – case in point, Rowan Marshall. It’s these little things that end up going a long way when it comes down to the cut and thrust! Best of luck to everyone except for my opponents (😜) this week!
Thanks again legends and flex how you went in the comments!
Yours in Fantasy,
Fantasy Fanatic #70