Another round of midweek bullets with up and down scoring topped off with a key injury or two… Standard. Many coaches will be left to pick up the pieces with more forced trades required than we have trades available! Not even 5 trades this week could salvage my spud farm… Hopefully you fared better than yours truly and dodged a couple bullets along the way!
9 down, 14 to go… must be time for The Weekend That Was!
Western Bulldogs vs Collingwood
Studs
Treloar (134) –
Libba (125) – Usually not a man synonymous with ‘flying under the radar’… just quietly, Libba averages 92 and can be selected as a forward! Libba and El Homo’s 7% ownership could be in for an sharp increase.
Macrae (123) – Standard. Gotta love watching the man butter up for cheap +6’s around the ground! What separates the good from the elite.
Daniel (123) – The wee man nearly scored more points than his height is centimetres! Vertically challenged jokes aside, Daniel had a field day under the roof @ Marvel with 34 touches and 10 marks!
Cameron (90) – Scores of 107, 112 and 90 since the injury of Brodie Grundy. Seems to be relishing the increased opportunity and has that much preferred R14 bye!
Duds
Adams (62) – 23 disposals for 62 points… Genuinely hard to do Taylor. All your beast seasons averaging >100 just pale into insignificance when you proceed to dish up that tripe!
McComb (38) – Oh Robbie… You played 80% of the game, your team won by 50 points and averaged 84 fantasy points per player. We all got excited after one good score but this may be what we should come to expect from the Magoos hero.
Begg (13) – Yeah, you’ll be begging for your spot next week. “Better bye structure” they said… After seeing this, I’d rather cop the donut!
Hawthorn vs Richmond
Studs
Sicily (109) – Nauseating. Incredible to watch Hawthorn sacrifice going forward so this bloke can get a cheap +6… Never ever seen the man defend but astute coaches who actually own him wouldn’t give a toss. From a salty non-owner.
Bolton (102) – Credit where credit is due, Shai would be up there with one of the most watchable footballers in the comp! As we know all too well, this doesn’t necessarily translate into huge Fantasy scores. Filled his boots with 20 disposals, 4 marks, 7 tackles and 2 goals!
Duds
Worpel (41) – Surely we start a campaign to change the name of the AFL player guessing game (‘Worpel’ – spinoff of ‘Wordle’). I’m sure the creators would be all ears if you had a suggestion that is remotely relevant!
M. Rioli (18) –
Butler (17) – Dan’s brother. Period.
Norf vs Port Adelaide
Studs
Literally no one remotely relevant except…
Wines (128) – Ollie taking the “fills the stat line” phrase to a whole new level, turning into a big blonk ruck man momentarily for 2 hitouts to go with 17 kicks, 15 handballs, 5 marks, 4 tackles, 2 frees for, 1 free against and 2.3. Will be a juicy option post R12 bye!
Duds
Ziebell (43) – Wow. This takes Jack’s 3 round average to 41 and 5 round average to 48… Mason Cox like numbers from a guy who averaged 100 in 2021! Given the anomaly that was 2021, surely everyone on the Norf list is throwing their hat in the ring for a run off half-back?
Boak (38) – Tragic. Must have had a flare up of the arthritis! Price will go into freefall mode for the next 2-3 weeks!
Curtis (38) – Never trust a bloke with two first names! At least his job security should be safe playing for a basket case of an establishment.
St Kilda vs Geelong
Studs
Crouch (125) – Seems to pop up time and time again in the ‘Studs’ section of The Weekend That Was but doesn’t seem to be taken too seriously. Has been ultra consistent with just one score <87 this season!
Sinclair (110) – 31 touches, 9 marks, an elite flowing mullet and the biggest calves known to humankind! Sincs seems to be the link up man on transition and will be a good post R12 bye target for many.
Stew (106) – Classic Stew – a couple of intercepts, sh*t tons of easy +6’s as the Catters played kick to kick in D50. Happy days for owners!
Gresham (102) – Made up for a putrid 42 with his first ton of the season! Had a huge impact on the contest with his trademark power and breakaway speed from stoppage. Not a top 6 forward but has been a very handy cash generator for his owners!
Duds
Steele (77) – On face value, you’d be looking at this score going wtf? Steeley came off late in Q2 with a shoulder injury and battled on bravely but was clearly impaired… Did not want to tackle and could barely lift his right arm up! Owners will await nervously but I wouldn’t expect him to suit up next week. Yet another forced trade incoming – FMDT!
Danger (61) – Genuinely struts around like a peacock and then goes and delivers yet another mediocre performance… You can see why his ownership is only at 2%, fools gold!
Stengle (45) – All it deserved for those kissed owners forced to hold… Still has a 5 game average >80 so owners will probably hold until his bye now anyway.
Knevitt (24) – Picking Geelong rooks? Knevitt again.
Sydney vs Essington
Studs
Mills (156) – Colossal. The man now has two scores over 150 in the past month. 8% of the competition with a leg up on the rest with C.Mills sitting at M1/M2. Had 56 pts in tackles alone!
Warner (109) – Four tons in a row to the Chad! Unsurprising given how impressive he was last year when many of us selected him as a forward rook. What I would do to have Chad back as a forward rook…
Allllooooyd (102) – 51 at 3 qtr time and Jakey was heading for another feature in the ‘Duds’ section. Q4, junk time, vintage Lloyd – say no more! This is why I picked the man – loves a +6 and can score rapidly in the right circumstances. Onwards and upwards Jakey, lessssgoooo!
Duds
Heeney (75) – 35 scoring shots, 58 point win… It was all set up for Heeney to cash in with a bag of goals. Again his inaccuracy cost him and his owners! This score is not the end of the world but owners will be looking for a lift after a crap month.
Merrett (51) – Pretty much summed up Essington’s night – horsesh*t. Hes going to be cheap in a few weeks! Non-owners will be quick to pounce once Zach shows some semblance of football ability.
Shiel (50) – 20 disposals, 50 points and scared of footsteps.
Draper (17) – The big blonk somehow gave away more free kicks than he had disposals! Genuine Mummy-like numbers – way to go Sam! Had 16 hitouts in his scores of 17 – mind numbing stuff!
Adelaide vs Brisbane Lions
Studs
Laird (124) – The man affectionately known as ‘The Desk’ was characteristically industrious with 33 touches and 10 tackles. Averaging 112 with <2% ownership… Bonkers!
Zorko (112) – Mr Boom-Bust himself back at it with another 110+ score! Certainly more boom than bust at the moment from the great Zorko! Can be selected as a defender for sub $800K… tempting!
Duds
McCluggage (78) – No Traffic Cones = No McCluggage 110+ score. This may also be the first time this season I have spelt his name correctly!
Rayner (54) – Seriously, Cam to have <15 disposals and f*ck all impact on the game has got to be $1.01 every week! Free money from the TAB thank me later.
Rachele (37) –
Gold Coast vs Freo Dokers
Studs
Touk (128) – Gun. Shoe-in for top 8 mid by seasons end! He has gotta be a high priority if you’re a non-owner. Another lazy 34 disposals and 8 tackles on a wet Sunday arvo @ Metricon!
Serong (126) – Bang! Consecutive tons for Caleb who has been awesome the past two weeks. I couldn’t do it but could prove to be a nice stepping stone to an uber premo…
Brodie (105) – Back to back tons from Brodes who was taking the p*ss early on in the game against his former club. Hard to believe he has been one of our most reliable picks given how “risky” a selection he was to begin the season.
Duds
Rowell (75) – The 2022 version of Tom Phillips… Seems to do enough to ‘hold for another week’. Gives you the absolute sh*ts being forced to settle for mediocrity with utter chaos everywhere else in your squad!
Darcy (67) – Remember last season when big Sean was averaging 94 and was next in the pack behind the two big ruck dogs? Yeah, me neither. Imagine if he didn’t have his 39 hit outs… sickening to even think about.
Chapman (50) – Since his R1 clutch heroics on the goal line vs Adelaide can’t tell you if I’ve actually seen Chappy. Irrelevant.
BWS vs Carlton
Studs
Kelly (134) – It was nice to see someone from BWS show some ticker in Leon’s farewell game! Kelly is clearly under-priced and has to be considered even with that early R12 bye.
Doch (115) – Typical. Had 20 kicks, 10 marks and a looooooong unloaded missile (goal) from downtown! Kicks-in, gets cheap +6’s and can intercept… A recipe for elite fantasy scoring.
Preuss (108) – If ever you wanted a definition of kissed! Has come up against only 3rd grade ruck man in the past three weeks, yet continues to knock the ball down to BWS’ complete disadvantage. I’ve seen better synergy with the Auskickers at half time. Goose. (Salty non-owner).
Durdin (79) – Where did this come from?! A welcome sight for owners who had Durdin high on their hitlist. He seemed to be up around the ball a but more and can now be held for a little while longer! Still not sure I’d be trusting him on field (coming from the guy who played Rachele (37) over Durds – D’Oh).
Duds
Crippa (76) – I guess the 110+ scores couldn’t last forever… gee you’re stiff if you just traded him in this week! Before you even think about it – he’s a definite hold!
Green (74) – 27 disposals for 74 points. Christ, he’s a good player but 2 marks and 2 tackles just ain’t gonna cut it.
Cogs (49) –
Shitfield (46) – Spineless. A floating turd used off half-forward running around in circles for two and a half hours. A real worry for coaches but given the chaos, I doubt anyone is in a position to send a message and move him on! This half-forward role is a definite concern.
Carroll (31) – Who? Was supposed to be a good downgrade option and then shat the bed in a woeful performance. Those who fielded, you’d be spewing!
Traffic Cones vs Melbourne
Studs
Petracca (135) – This honestly could have been 160 of Trac kicked straighter… finished with 2.4 to go with his 28 disposals, 6 marks, 7 tackles and quite probably 3 Brownlow votes.
Witherden (112) – Gee there’s Jack Ziebell vibes written all over this… 20 kicks and 12 marks – none of said stats beneficial to the team whatsoever. It feels so wrong but given the ball lives in D50 you have to at least give it some consideration!
Duds
Oliver (89) – Clarry just thought he’d mosey on over to Optus and trot around in 1st gear in a game that was perfectly set for a huuuuuge ton. Unfortunately, you can’t coach for blokes who are completely disinterested. Has already been rage traded from John’s Juggernauts Spud Farm.
Big Max (86) – Again Maxxy clearly didn’t give two shits flying f*ck about this game… Was already on the plane home at qtr time. Unfortunately, us fantasy coaches can’t just go “oh well, I might just put the cue in the rack for the week”. Be better you bald, bearded, big headed blonk.
Bowey (55) –
Flyin (‘The White Flag’) Ryan (24) – Flyin playing the “let’s get pick #1 at all costs” game plan to a tee! Incredible effort! Weagles fans should vote him player of the round for doing the equivalent of watching paint dry for 2 hours. Way to go Liam! Wooooooo!
The Juggernaut Review
1910. Embarrassing. In fact, f*cked is a better word to describe the sh*tshow that is John’s Juggernauts at present.
Honestly, to my loyal followers, I wouldn’t even be taking advice from me at the moment… Remember we don’t get concessions like a #1 draft pick for being sh*t like the Traffic Cones/Kanga Kanga Kangas. Clearly last season’s #70 was the biggest fluke in living memory… even Bradbury’s gold medal in 2002 at Salt Lake wasn’t as surprisingly lucky as the events of AFL Fantasy 2021.
Leon Cameron is on his way out of the Giants – the Juggernauts should be holding similar conversations! Is the answer to sack the coach who is squarely responsible for the rubbish that is being served up? Perhaps relocation? Deportation?! Clearly I’m at a loss and f*cking clueless – anyone want to take over a rabble?!
Another 3/3 league losses, slid another 4,000 in the rankings and three forced trades to deal with… Not to mention at least another 10 potatoes occupying a position in my Spud Farm. Unfortunately, Steele is a must trade following news he will have shoulder surgery and miss 6-8 weeks – incredible effort to play on with a significant injury! Then there’s still NOD and even Xerri just sitting there doing sweet FA… Then you’ve got the likes of Rachele, Rowell and Butters who are only around due to the carnage that has been the past month!
If you’re even remotely interested in your overall rank, chances are you have already been planning for the byes… We are 7 trades away so if you’ve haven’t even looked at them yet there’s still time to patch things up!
Follow the link for a how to guide on planning for and navigating the byes: https://fantasy-fanatic.com/2022/04/26/bye-round-ready-your-complete-guide-to-navigating-the-dreaded-byes/ Hopefully there is something remotely useful for you in this article!
Thanks again legends and flex (or not) how you went in the comments!
Yours in Fantasy,
Fantasy Fanatic #70
Fantasy Fanatic 
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