The Weekend That Was: Round 3

Round 3… It was a mixed weekend of footy as Fantasy coaches begin to settle on their squads! The curse of the late withdrawal struck leaving 10% of the competition scrambling for UDL-sized contingency plans… Other than that, we had the usual standouts mixed in with the mega spuds!

As always plenty of winners and losers to unpack… must be time for The Weekend That Was!

Brisbane Lions vs Western Bulldogs


Dunkley (116) – Thought the Doggies cheer squad were about to bust a collective vocal cord with the copious amount of “booing” of Dunks early in the game! Fought on with class with a great stat line reading 24 touches, 9 marks and 7 tackles. Lovely VC loop!

Macrae (111) – Hahaha was this ever in doubt?? Most traded out player for some reason came back to bite many a coach in the bum. Those last quarter cheap +6’s are what dreams are made of!

English (111) – Solid as a rock. Handled the double team of McInerney and Fort with aplomb! His 8 marks were a real feature – make that 3×110+ scores to hit the ground running in 2023!

Andrews (108) – No he’s not fantasy relevant but if Harris isn’t there Lions lose by 6 goals. Probably won’t get a Brownlow vote either.


McLuggage (71)

Bazlenka (71)Forward role stinks. Needs something to gee him up… Anyone got a small bag of “crushed anti-inflammatories”??? Asking for Bevo AKA Chompers 2.0.

Zorko (62) – The Mr Boom-Bust meme continues… That was horsesh*t, Dayne. Unsurprising to say the least.

Jones (18) – My word I hope you didn’t trade him in… Bobbie McComb nearly beat this score in 14% game time – yikes!

Richmond vs Collingwood


Nank (120)Fun fact: The Tank is one of only two rucks to have three consecutive tons to start the season – the other is Timmy English! Even with big Samson in the team, Nank is thriving and it may be time to take him a bit more seriously!

De Goey (120)De Yoey bouncing back from a poxxy 60 last week with a huuuuge 120 including 35 touches and quite possibly 3 Clownlow votes!

Baker (113) – Those who gambled on Baker after a standout performance in preseason will be well pleased with two tons on the trot! Found a bit more midfield time with the likes of Hopper and Dusty out… A half-back role is probably more realistic but you are taking this every day of the week!

Taranto (111) – Borderline the biggest no-brainer of the preseason was T.Taranto. Lock.

N.Daicos (100) – Wowee that was the filthiest fantasy ton I have ever seen! Literally nil impact on the game in a four quarter effort all seagulls roaming the ‘G would have been proud of.


Cameron (52) – A pathetic night in the big boy department with the exception of Nank and unfortunately Cammo was not spared… With Cox out of the side, plenty of coaches would have been rubbing their hands together only to come away with a paltry 52 and a knee injury!

Samson Ryan (15)

Hawthorn vs Norf


Dyl Moore (132) – Time to put the spotlight on Dynamic Dyl because what he lacks in size he makes up for in ticker and fantasy points! Easily one of the most underrated footballers going around. <10% ownership just quietly!

Sicily (132) – I said Daicos’ ton was filthy… This was that on roids! 28 touches, 18 marks, 3 goals assists (for Norf) and not one iota of defensive fibre in his body!

Day (128)How good is this kid?! The role is just amazing… Started in the centre bounce, every now and then drifting to half-back for his lick of the ice-cream on the +6’s as well!

Sheezel (109) – A “quiet” afternoon by the Cheezels standard with only 26 disposals, 7 marks and 6 tackles… He really has set himself an insanely high bar but if his first three games are anything to go by there’s no reason why the Sheez can’t keep this up!


Worpel (57) – Apparently Worp didn’t get the points spree memo… The Hawks averaged 84 points per player and 57 is all you could muster?! Could become a problem earlier than coaches were hoping.

LDU (-) Traumatising. Don’t go flicking him but late outs are an absolute asswipe… Hope you dodged the UDL bullet.

BWS vs Carlton


Doch (136)

Kelly (126)A week off from concussion did nothing to slow Jelly down! His ability to rack up in all facets of the game is right up there. 30 touches, 3 marks, 9 tackles and a goal in a losing cause.

Cripps (111) Immense. Coaches would have seen the stats and hoped for more from 42 touches… I don’t think we can complain too much, taking 111 every day of the week!

Green (110) – Yes sir! 3 round average of 109.3 surrely has Dua’s attention?!


Cumming (74) – A genuine POD with 2% ownership… And for good reason!

Callaghan (48) – Meh. Very meh. Breakeven coming in R3 was something like 30 so he will still be making $$$ but the Callaghan experiment may be coming to an end quicker than hoped!

Greene (22) – Lets just say… Thank f*ck this was Green(e) of the Toby variety!

St Kilda vs Essendon


Crouch (122)The man can fantasy! He has never really lost his ability to find the pill… Could 2023 be the year Crouch gets a look in for a top 8 mid spot? Averaging 108 is a good start!

Parish (120) – Speaking of guy who can fantasy… Parish has always had this in his repertoire! 35 disposals, 7 marks and a goal if you don’t mind!

Wood (118) – Not overly well-known in fantasy circles, however deserves a huge shoutout for going at 106 over the first three weeks! His positioning and ability to hold his width as a tall winger has been second to none so far.

Alpha Martin (109) – Not overly fantasy relevant this season but credit where credit is due! 2022 gave us a taste of what is to come for this underrated mature aged pick.


Redman (66)That was a crock of sh*t Mason. Perhaps if you put more time into getting a kick than throwing your hands in the air when things don’t go your way you’d be onto something!

Phillipou (40) – Harsh on the young lad but 40’s ain’t cutting the mustard. In good news, Mattaes was given a run on ball in Q4 – hopefully something we see more of as the season progresses!

Stringer (35)

Port Adelaide vs Adelaide


Rozee (113) – That’s more like it Connor! Highest possession getter on the ground and must have tipped off the team in yellow pre-match with a noticeable 6 frees for. Surely there’d be some sort of useless stat on % of free kicks paid to one player???

Rankine (104) Breaking the hearts of Port spuds far and wide… Things you love to see.


Laird (83)2/3 frustrating weeks as Laird owners… The other 60% of the competition ready to swoop on a grossly underpriced Desk Rig! Paying over $1m for a guy to average 94 over the first three weeks is genuine fraud.

Gorne-Francis (68) – How I’ve chosen to spell his name is all you need to know. Ta-da Jase.

Butters (60)*Shudders* Can’t believe I am wasting oxygen on this pint-sized potato, however, 4% of the comp are running with him and I’m sure a few draft coaches who saw Zac as a “slider.” Moment of silence for those crabs out there.

Gold Coast vs Geelong


Stewart (128)Wowzers! How about the healing powers of the fella?! One week off for an MCL strain! Given his injury affected 14 is well and truly in his current price cycle he becomes a viable options at a huge discount in a few weeks. Watch!

Cameron (105) – Clearly took the “I wouldn’t touch him with a 9-foot pole” jibe from yours truly to heart! That’s back to back tons for Jezza. He averages 101 and Geelong are 0-3 – great effort!


Anderson (72) – Yuck. Ando is setting us back >$800K and he averages <80?! You’d think he’d Noah how to fantasy with such as elite inside mid role…

Bruhn (42)Slowly Ruhn-ing seasons aplenty.

Melbourne vs Sydney


Oliver (111) – Standard. Was probably on track for about 130 but did slow a bit as the Dees got on top, barely getting out of 3rd gear in the process! Jet.

Grundy (106)Did someone say #1 ruck? It’s real and Grundy filled his boots with 21 touches, 5 marks and 25 hitouts. A genuine option for those struggling in the ruck department!

Van Rooyen (76)ROOOOOOO. Very, very nice from the lad on debut – you’d think his spot his safe after a performance like that! I don’t think we should expect three goals every week but he’ll be on the radar of plenty of coaches.


Gulden (71)Disgusting fade out in the second half… But cheers for helping me over the line in a couple of my league matches!

Warner (56) – Grossly out of form the past fortnight. Dunno what’s going on with the Chad? After a huge 117 in R1 vs Gold Coast, Warner has backed it up with a 61 and 56… Another one to keep an eye on given what he is capable of on his day as his price continues to go into freefall mode!

Heeney (28)

Freo vs West Coast


Darcy (128) – Took the absolute piss out of the Naitanui-less Weagles big boy department… 52 hitouts on his own in a genuine exhibition. Opposition won’t get any easier than that, however.

Serong (127) – I mentioned it last week… This guy has the tools to elevate himself in 2023. 35 touches and 8 tackles in a huge Derby performance!

Ginbey (82) – The kid is a contested beast and deserves another shoutout for an elite rookie score! 20 touches and a nice 8 tackles.


Sheed (72)Mediocre. Mediocrity doesn’t win us a car, Dom. Plenty of coaches will be in a position to move him on and honestly if there’s nothing pressing you’d be more than happy to give Sheed his marching orders.

Cox (25) – Wow, just wanted to highlight that after three rounds, the difference between Cox’s best and worst is 116 points. Baffling!

The Juggernaut Review


Promising from the Juggeranuts! First time since the establishment of fantasy fanatic that yours truly has gone 3/3 in league matchups, albeit in one league by a bee’s dick.

After a 20 and a 30 in the first two weeks, Chesser needed to pull 63 out of his ass for the win and nearly got Brian T (surely Brian Taylor right?) over the line! I thought I heard Bristle barracking harder for Oliver and Gulden (both uniques) in his call on of Swans vs Dees Sunday arvo! After advertising this victory, there’s every prospect that the fantasy gods (and karma bus!) pull me into line for an agonising L… Only time will tell!

Three weeks into the season and while we have had some sizeable bullets to navigate, the elite squads will start to slowly pull away from the pack. The teams with superior cash generation will ultimately be in the best position to slingshot their squads toward premo paradise. Don’t get tunnel vision chasing scores from midpricers – make sure the foundations of your side are strong with premos and reliable, fattening cash cows.

So how did we all go in R3? Any LDU owners consolable? Let me know in the comments below!

Best of luck for next week legends!

Yours in fantasy,

Fantasy fanatic #70


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