Sir Doug Nicholls round, where we recognise and celebrate our Indigenous players, their culture and contribution to our great game. Household names of the modern era such as Goodes, Rioli, McLeod, Eddie, Burgoyne and of course Buddy (among many more!) spring to mind. What they’ve given to the game not only on the field, but off it can’t be undersold.

In classic AFL fantasy fashion, we had more swings and roundabouts in what was a rollercoaster round of footy for Fantasy coaches… We had under-performing “premos”, over-performing rooks and a coupla late outs due to illness – either Monkey Pox or Mozzie Virus I suspect! Anyway, hope you were dodging bullets like election candidate corflute’s as we headed to the polls to complete our civic duties.

10 down, 13 to go… time to recap with The Weekend That Was.

Carlton vs Sydney

Studs

Parker (127) – Backed up his “footsteps” taunt from last week with a typically tough L.Parker performance. 26 possessions, 9 marks, 8 tackles and 0 uncontested contest shirks.

Hewy (106) – Has not missed a beat since returning from injury a couple weeks back… Nice hold for those who stayed strong!

Curnow (98) – Wowee… The guy is a genuine chance for the Coleman and is sh*tting all over opposition defences with contempt! Another bag of 6 – he’s on top of the world at the moment and 7% of the competition would be having a perma stiffy!

McCartin (73) and Durdin (65) – Over-performing rookies who should have been culled about a month ago… You love to see it! Would much rather look at a McCartin 73 than a Sh*tfield 74 at the moment anyway.

Duds

Cripps (71) – That’s two 70’s in a row for Crippa… Imagine getting on him thinking he was a ‘must have’ two weeks ago! It’s still a definite hold but thousands of coaches all over the land expect better.

Lloyd (68) – Argghhhh… things were looking bright for Llooooooyd after a fortnight of tons. Unfortunately some Lizard looking operator thought he’d completely takeover Jakey’s one wood – kick ins! Not even BT commentating could salvage his score… F*cking awesome to have a unique spudding it up on the regular. Symbolic of where the Juggernauts are at.

Ladhams (43) – I’ve seen diarrhoea more solid than Pete.

Cerra (42) –

Geelong vs Port

Studs

Houston (121) – The yo-yo that is Dan Houston continued with another massive score. Don’t be surprised if he d*cks you with a 60 or 70 next week!

Butters (94) – The fact Butters gets a mention in the ‘studs’ section whilst scoring under the ton illustrates where we are at with him! Annoying little man who owes us a lot…

Stephens (67) – Deserves a mention coming in as a late change and scoring a solid 67 in 64% time on ground! It’s a shame Scotty would rather play his antique parade than young talent like Cooper!

De Koning (62) – Speaking of deserving a mention… SDK has looked like a different player in the last 3 weeks. He has clearly worked on his defensive positioning and looks more assured with ball in hand. Still not much of a kicker so don’t expect any cheap +6’s, however, his intercepting game is one to watch!

Duds

Duncan (76) – 36 in the first quarter, sh*t all after that… Consistent mediocrity seems to be the flavour of the season for Mitch. And they said you were “under-priced”…

Rozee (65) – We can’t be too angry with this… Coaches knew a pick like this was fraught with risk and was never a long-term investment! Hopefully you are in a position to move him on sooner rather than later.

Rohan (38) – Did someone tell Gaz it was a final? Barely sighted all day down at the Cattery despite his fiery bonce!

Powell-Pepper (30) –

Western Bulldogs vs Gold Coast

Studs

Bazlenka (118) – Was looking at a low ton until his put the icing on the cake with a goal at the death to get him to 118! Started at half-forward and rolled into the midfield as the game went on… Standard Bazlenka nowadays!

Bont (116) – Vintage Bont! Started the game at the coalface and was a weapon up forward in the second half, bagging 3 goals to go with his 24 touches and 8 marks. I suspect Bevo will continue to utilise him as a forward given his form on the weekend… Not such great news for fantasy coaches unless he can kick bags every week!

Witts (104) – The big unit deserves a shoutout with a 5-round average of 101! Those who went to Witts from Grundy will be well pleased – good get!

Duds

Miller (82) – Oh Touk. As Katy Perry once said – You were hot and then cold. You were yes and then no. You were in and then out. You were up and then down. No idea if I nailed the lyrics on that but you get my point. Be better!

Rowell (36) – Soul destroying. F*ck me it’s hard watching a pale, red-headed, Harry high-pants run around in circles for two and a half hours on a Saturday arvo. For heavens sake, he scored 32 points alone in tackles!! Unfathomable.

Rosas (27) –

Khamis (21) – Unfortunately no amount of “job security” can save a performance like this. Magoos, magoos, magoos!

Norf vs Melbourne

Studs

Clarry (151) – Boom! How about that for a turnaround?! Hunted the footy like a man possessed, a far cry from the complete disinterest we saw a week ago vs Wet Toast. Huge if you chucked him the C! 45 disposals, 5 marks and 6 tackles if you don’t mind!

Petracca (115) – Gun. Enough said.

Scott (111) – Living proof that anyone playing the Jack Ziebell 2021 role can score bulk fantasy points… 27 kicks, 12 marks, 0 meaningful metres gained! Can we start a campaign to get the big X (Tristan Xerri) to half-back?!

Duds

Max (82) – Okay, at least this week we can say Max wasn’t up against a WAFL Colts ruck man… but really man?! Actually got d*cked in the hit outs for the first time in a long time! He’ll fire when needed but take the “favourable matchup” thing with a grain of salt.

Brayshaw (67) – Ever needed a living definition of a trap? Here it is! For your own mental health and wellbeing, don’t do it to yourself unless you are looking for a permanent psychological injury.

Xerri (32) –

Curtis (26) – Playing as a small forward for Norf? Borderline signing your Deathwish. Poor bugger! Compounded by his two first names!

Crom vs St Kilda

Studs

Dawson (111) – Never. In. Doubt. Deployed wherever Nicksy needs him and gets the job done. Reads the play better than anyone and is a goal-kicker when in the forward half. Absolute weapon and great pick up by Crom.

Hill (111) – I know I’ve been harsh on Hilly, maybe due to the expectations around him and/or his salary? Either way, capped off game 200 in style with 30 touches and 10 marks with Adelaide providing a great example of social distancing!

Sinclair (111) – The flowing mullet with another massive game across half-back! 32 touches and 5 marks to go with two rather large gastrocnemius/soleus complex’!

Berry (86) – A young man on the rise who continues to get it done… Nicksy will love the hard edge Sam is bringing to the midfield! Another 9 tackles tonight and coaches will be literally cashing in with another massive price spike on the way.

Soligo (77) – Any holders out there? #kissed.

Duds

McHenry (59) – Completely irrelevant but an annoying little flea who is literally selected for his ability to “win” free kicks.

Ross (50) – Wowee… Once upon a time, Ross was a walk up ton week-in, week-out! Has slowly tapered with age.

Tex (43) – Turning circle slower than the titanic and ears the size of Uluru. Wilkie tore him a new one!

Rachele (40) – Once again young Rachele hitting the rookie wall with a thud…. Soured by a late quad injury which could see him out for a while! If you haven’t traded already you are either very unlucky or no good at Fantasy.

Fogarty (27) – Can’t believe this chump inherited Mark Ricciuto’s #32… Laughable.

Richmond vs Essington

Studs

Parish (146) – Ball magnet. Fantasy coaches won’t give a toss about the “how much do Parish’s possessions hurt the opposition…?” conversation. The only opposition it is hurting is the 95% of coaches who don’t own!

Short (113) – Not surprising in the slightest that Jayden bounced back with a 110+! Top 3 defender without a shadow of a doubt.

Heppell (109) – Can hold his head high after a tumultuous week for the footy club… Most tackles (6) he has laid since R11 last season!

Duds

Slim Dusty (68) – Okay to be fair most of the hype on Dusty over his career has been warranted but if you are selecting him now you are living in the past!

Dick Smith (24) – Yikes… Once upon a time Dev was a walk up starter and his hunger to defend and pressure was immense. Suddenly, he finds himself on the outer and probably wouldn’t even tackle his missus. Staggering!

GWS vs Wet Toast

Studs

Cogs (123) – Is this a case of new coach, new lease on life for Cogs? He didn’t start in the mids but was more prominent as the game progressed… 36 touches, 6 marks, 4 tackles. I’d like to see it against a team that is not 23 cloud pointers.

Kelly (121) – Now here’s a man who is starting to hit his straps… Takes his 5 game average to 116! Let’s hope his price doesn’t balloon to unreachable heights. He is currently priced at $884K with one week until BWS’ bye.

Peatling (119) –

Flynn (106) – Relished not having Preuss in the side and it was nice to see some hitouts in the same postcode as his team mates… Lets hope he holds his spot (salty non-Preuss owner)!

Duds

Witherden (68) – Dang, the opposition had 33 scoring shots and 135674 inside 50’s… Should have been set up perfectly for Jack Ziebell 2.0. Perhaps he doesn’t want a bar of this new label courtesy of the Fantasy Fanatic?

Druggan (48) – Really no relevance whatsoever but saw a damning piece of vision where Druggan basically said “Yeah nah f*ck it, I won’t cover for my mate, it’s all to hard!” Symbolic of where this basket case is at.

Naish (24) – Speaking of “Yeah nah f*ck it!” Probably had more energy at the nightclub when da boiz got sprung! He has been a great servant for his coaches but now it’s time to take take profit and run…

Barrass (10) – Embarrassing.

Hawthorn vs Brissy Lions

Studs

Lyons (129) – There’s always one opposition mid that goes massive against Hawthorn, today it was Jarryd Lyons. 32 disposals, 6 marks, 7 tackles for the Adelaide/Gold Coast reject.

Mitchell (120) – Don’t write off the pig just yet! Yes, I did have him as a ‘fold’ a couple weeks back but that was before we knew Titch had been struggling with his health of late. It was the pig of old in that familiar midfield role, racking up contested possessions for fun! Incredible to think we have a man of this quality available for <$800K.

Newcombe (118) – Big Nuke with another nuclear performance… If you started with him, I’m not sure what crystal ball you were staring at but where can I get one?!

Rich (114) – Kick-ins, tick. Cheap +6’s, usually tick. Handballs received, tick. It’s incredible, the rest of the back men will give the pill to Rich even if under pressure to avoid kicking it themselves! A recipe for Fantasy success.

Duds

Zorko (82) – Another annoying little flea who has found his way into the Juggernauts… On the bright side, at least Boom-Bust now has a score between 56 and 109! He’ll be fine but boy that was frustrating at times…

Impey (47) – Seduction at its rarest… Hadn’t gone below 75 with the exception of an injury affected 15 until yesterday. Left many to believe he was “under-priced”… another problem sitting at D5/D6! Gee that position has been the death of me this season!

Bailey (35) – Wasn’t even an “impact player” today… Might just about win player’s player for Hawthorn after that performance… 0.3 in a five point loss, you do the maths!

Collingwood vs Freo

Studs

Brodie (128) – Gold Coast must be wondering “where in the f*ck was this for the last 5 years?!” A contested beast in every sense of the word was always going to enjoy getting his nose in the trough on a wet arvo in Perth. Not sure why there were whispers of folding on Brodes…

Darcy (126) – A very stoppage heavy game was always going to be good news for Big Sean and his owners! 44 hitouts to go with his 21 disposals – enormous!

Cameron (115) – Big Cammo feasted on the ruck bonanza with another big ton of his own! Fun fact: Since big Reg Grundy went down in round 6, big Cammo has averaged a massive 106 over a four week patch. Huuuuuuge value for those who have jumped on and dare I say it, is probably still under-priced at $6

Serong (115) – Finally… little Caleb starting to live up to the pre-season hype! Has a 3 round average of 118 to be one of the form players of the competition! Available at $762K… gotta be tempting!

Brayshaw (113) –

Duds

Pendles (74) – Joint lowest score of the season but one ton in nine outings just ain’t gonna cut it for 2% of the competition. Probably with good reason he is so unique.

De Goey (71) – De GOAT??? More like De WOAT.

The Juggernaut Review

2002. Borderline irreparable. But let’s ignore the fact I went owen-three and dropped in the rankings once again because that’s not news to anyone!

Spare a thought a mate of mine who did everything right except get Brady “WAFL Colts Traffic Cone” Hough off the field… Here it is in the flesh!

Oh Hesh, I had you $1.50 to claim “most improved” this season given the usual 80,000+ ranking… To go on and lose the league match by 7 points just rubs salt into the wound. I imagine the whole establishment that is “Heshy’s 16” will be put on notice this week!

A moment’s silence for our man.

I can’t believe I am saying this, but bring on the byes! It couldn’t get any worse in a normal round for the Juggernauts so lets throw caution to the wind and have six teams go on holiday already! We are now five trades away so there is minimal room for patch up work now… Hopefully you have some sort of plan heading in so you can minimise the damage and hopefully fly up the rankings!

If you are looking for any last minute tips head over to: https://fantasy-fanatic.com/2022/04/26/bye-round-ready-your-complete-guide-to-navigating-the-dreaded-byes/ Hopefully you’ll find something remotely useful!

Thanks again legends and flex (or not) how you went in the comments!

Yours in Fantasy,

Fantasy Fanatic #70