Round 14… Light at the end of the byemageddon tunnel at long last! Let’s just say, thank f*ck I have a couple of guys named Timmeh carrying a squad consisting of largely list cloggers…

As always, plenty to recap on!

14 down, 10 to go… Must be time for The Weekend That Was!

Port Adelaide vs Geelong

Studs

Houston (108) – Backs up a 59 with a 108… Shock me Dan! He didn’t cop the ‘heart palpitations nickname for no reason. In all honestly, a good all round game highlighted by 31 touches and 7 marks!

Rozee (106) – Speaking of good all-round games… Rozee came up clutch with a phat stat line reading 25 touches, 6 marks, 6 tackles and 13 shimmies. He rose above the pack in an otherwise comical fantasy game!

Duds

Butters (77) – Burnt Butters for anyone who jumped on at $946K… I won’t go as far as saying fraudulent but coaches will be hoping for a response post-bye!

Duncan (74) – True to form, packed up at half time after putting on 52 to the main break. Proceeded to epicly flatline on his wys to a mediocre 74!

Stewart (66) – Stewwy was still on holiday apparently. What a time to put up your worst score (non-injury affected!) this season.

Brisbane Lions vs Sydney

Studs

Parker (126) – Vintage L.Parker. 24 touches, 11 tackles and a goal coming back from suspension like he never left!

Dunkley (113) –

Sheldrick (82) – Mammoth effort given Gus only played 55% game time… Either Horse hates him or he hates playing for Horse.

Duds

Warner (72) – It’s been an almost season for the Chad as reflected by his average of 98… He has all the tools to take that next step but still has patches in games where he goes missing!

Buller (19) – Had the same amount of game time as Sheldrick after being subbed… Yeah, just let that sink in. Thankfully player prices can’t go below $200K!

GWS vs Freo

Studs

Kelly (120) – Straight back into the side with 33 touches and 3 goals if you don’t mind! The Orange team were missing his class and it was on show for all to see on Saturday evening. 3 votes J.Kelly!

Cogs (110) – Consistent Cogs back at it again with 31 touches and 6 marks… 120+ was on the cards if he could convert in front of the big sticks!

Bray (109) – While most of Freo’s travelling squad were still in holiday mode, Bray was industrious as always with 29 disposals, 6 marks and 5 tackles. Elite!

Callaghan (108) – High praise but the word that comes to mind with this guy is ‘prototype.’ He looks every bit the size and build of a prospective A grade gun! Certainly one on my fantasy radar in future as his midfield minutes bulk up.

Briggs (97) – Speaking of midfield minutes… This bloke has come from the clouds to be GWS’ bonafide numero uno. Just goes to show what guys are capable off when shouldering that extra responsibility!

Duds

Fyfe (47) – Started in the middle did bugger all, went forward also did bugger all. Classic mid-price trap!

Johnson (37) – Mmmm… Was a bit stiff coming off with a corkie after playing 51% of the game. Thoughts and prayers to those playing with 18 or less!

A-a-ron Cadman (7) –

Richmond vs St Kilda

Studs

Tim (147) –

Cotchin (119) – Superstar. 300 games celebrated in style for Cotch. He is no longer a household name in fantasy land though who could forget his 110 average, brownlow winning 2012 season? Good times!

Slim Dusty (114) – Can the real Slim Dusty please stand up, please stand up, please stand up? 35 disposals, 6 clearances and 8 inside 50’s answers that question!

Crouch (109) – Genuine ball magnet. Disposal efficiency of 66% actually pretty good by Brad’s standards! Huge POD for 6% of the comp.

Duds

Rioli (70) – Oh dear Dan. It’s scores like this that prevent you from being in the conversation for a top-6 defender position!

Steele (60) – Wow. Imagine having the option to trade in any premo under $920K and you proceed to sh*t the bed and pick J.Steele. Remember guys, past performance is not a reliable indicator of future performance! Looks injured. Cooked.

Carlton vs Gold Coast

Studs

Doch (124) – Doch leading from the front – things we love to see as fantasy owners! 32 disposals and 9 marks in a day out for the top-6 defender. You’ll want him there by seasons end!

Cerra (122) – When this guy goes big, he goes reeeeaal big. Make that 5×119+ scores in 14 appearances! Handy POD if you’ve invested from the get go!

Cripps (110) – How about that for a response?! Cast our minds back about seven or eight days ago and it was as if the Sun wasn’t going to rise the next morning after the Blues were pantsed by Essendon. My word a week is a long time in footy – just quietly, Crippa is as cheap as he will ever be…

Duds

Rowell (80) – Mediocrity. It’s just not tolerable multiple weeks in a row, Rowelly! Hard to watch him roll around in third gear and avoid marks around the ground like the plague.

Cincotta (40) –

Norf vs Western Bulldogs

Studs

Bont (158) – Holy cow Bont of 2023 is proper next level. He is virtually impossible to stop at clearance, can go forward and kick a goal and defends ferociously! It is reflecting in his elite scoring – did someone say Brownlow?

English (134) – Speaking of elite scoring… After a weird 76 last week Timmeh was back to his best and incredibly averages 119 heading into the Doggies bye. Making those who didn’t run with the set ‘n’ forget ruck strategy look silly (unless you jumped on Briggsy!).

Treloar (113) – High CBA’s = high scoring. Simples!

Duds

Sm(n)iff (78) – It’s been bad for a little while now. Unfortunately, uncontested bag possessions don’t count toward fantasy numbers!

Ziebell (59) – What in the flying f*ck happened here?! Ziebs was well on his way to a ton posting 48 about 20 mins into the second quarter. His score remained frozen for about 25 mins of game time… He ended up only playing 64% of the game so fair to say the bye has come at a good time!

Warlord (31) – Yes we expect ebbs and flows with our young’un’s but seriously, George, any danger of even a half-ton? Spare a thought for those playing with 18 or less!

The Juggernaut Review

1830.

Word association: Mediocre, average, middle-of-the-road, moderate, passable.

Pretty much everyone except for blokes named ‘Timmeh’ are on notice. Together, the Tim’s (Taranto and English) amassed about a quarter of the Juggs score across R14! Yeah… just let that sink in.

If you thought you had a tough weekend, spare a thought for my mate Benny Mac and his ‘Mates’ who needed 92 from Ziebell and Warlord heading into the last matchup of the week…

Let’s just say… A picture says 1000 words! In rather typical Norf fashion, stole defeat from the jaws of victory. Steele was also shocking so I imagine the classic rage trade is getting a good workout. Funnily enough, Benny’s score happened to be the second highest across the league and he still cops the L! Head up chief.

With R15 around the corner, there’s light at the end of the byemageddon tunnel! R15 seemed to be the week most coaches were struggling with most as a whole host of premos on all lines head off on holiday… Hopefully you’ve planned well or have the trades in your arsenal to get a squad of at least 18 together! Again, it goes without saying but the strategy remains getting those guys who have already had their bye into the fold and ditching (as needed) players due for their little holiday.

So how did we all go in round 14? Flex your score in the comments below!

Best of luck next week legends!

Yours in fantasy,

Fantasy fanatic #70