The Weekend That Was: Round 14

*Sigh of relief*… And just like that the bye rounds have come and gone. Just when you think you got your planning right, you get bulk injuries and genuine has beens continuing to spud it up – bloody awesome! Hopefully you fared a bit better and don’t have about 5 forced trades like yours truly.

14 down, 9 to go… Time for The Weekend That Was!

Richmond vs Carlton


Doch (129) – Boom. 44 to half-time, almost doubled his score in the 2nd half! 31 touches and 11 marks in non-conducive marking conditions… Fantasy legend!

Boyd (65) – Reeeaaally nice for those who jumped on Boyd with very few defensive rook options popping out of the sprinkler until this week! This performance should give his job security a timely boost.


Hewett (74) – Incredible to think that this is his Hew’s first sub-80 score of the season! Has been awesome for coaches as a mid-pricer turned premo so we can’t be too butt hurt about this score.

Turdin x2 (Corey 36 and Sam 33) – Not a great night for the Turdin’s… Hopefully you had already traded Corey and did not get roped into Sam!

St Kilda vs Essendon


Gresham (116) – Man this guy annoys me with how often he burns his team mates, however, fantasy credit where it is due! That’s 3 tons in Gresh’s last 5 games… Real nice for 12% of the competition who still own!

Sinclair (101) – Not his best game in the world and still tons up – legend! Coaches won’t give a rats tossbag at the fact he had some shocking clangers on Friday night.

Hobbs (78) – The young man just keeps getting it done for his coaches with a 3 round average of 76! I thought he may have got a bit of time on-ball with Parish out but that didn’t really eventuate… Still scored fine!


Heppell (51)“She’s cactus” – Heppell’s description of his sore hand post-game… I’d argue that’s a fair description of your season Dyson.

Massimo D’Ambrosio (44)MDA? More like MDMA… Will be better for the run and you get the sense that BT will love calling this guys name after 120 minute erections calling Orazio Fantasia’s Essendon/Port games!

Butler (38) – If you’re gonna be a smartass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise you’re just an ass. No fantasy relevance whatsoever just a salty Saints supporter getting it off my chest!

Port Adelaide vs Sydney


Mills (116) – There’s something special about nothing special… It’s this bloke. Plays on-ball and then when sh*t hits the fan, sits at fullback for bulk cheap +6’s! Couldn’t ask for much more from your M1/M2

Wines (105) – Now here’s a guy that fits the “under-priced premo” description! The big bull was industrious as always and finds himself heavily discounted following an injury-affected 36 in round 4 and some up and down scoring. If you need value, fine Wines could be the one!

Heeney (101)


Houston (73)

Lloyd (48)Weak as piss. Jakey, your dressing down in round 7 is all the energy I have left for you right now. Owes coaches about 5×110+ scores which would be beyond a miracle at this point!

Butters (44) – Wow imagine owning both Lloyd and Butters… what f*cking nightmares a made of. In case you didn’t connect the dots, yours truly is one of those coaches. Fair to say after I heard this injury news the toys were well and truly thrown out of the cot! On the bright side, coaches may actually go and get rid of him for good now following his Q2 knee injury…

Teakle (27) – Really stiff for the mid-season recruit following a meteoric rise to #1 ruck at Port. Unfortunately went off with an injured collarbone and is probably out for a while! A real shame given he showed a bit – coaches will be filthy.

West Coast vs Geelong


Guthrie (126) – This is more of the Cam Guthrie we come to know and love! Has averaged 116 in the past month after a poor start to the season. Cheeky POD with just the 3% ownership… Potentially under-priced given what he is capable of.

Stephens (69) – Deserves a mention after another paltry 60% time on ground… Can’t seem to fathom why Cooper is only playing 60% of the game when he has shown he is up to it! Gotta look after the antiques parade apparently?


Stewart (75) – Salvaged his score in the second half but coaches will be underwhelmed given the ‘easy matchup’… Just couldn’t get his intercepting game going! Stew will be fine so don’t go folding.

Duncan (73)

De Koning (39) – First score in the 30’s in about 8 weeks after a patch of 3 in a row from R3-R5… De Koning has been really solid for owners after a disastrous first month of scoring. Has been awesome since then but It’s a fold now for owners who still have him.

Western Bulldogs vs GWS


Macca (148)Jet. Vintage J.Macrae. Leather poisoning. Probably sh*ts disposals does the great man! You just hit the pillow at ease knowing you’re rolling with J.Macrae at M1/M2.

Greene (134) – Not overly fantasy relevant but 7 goals in a losing cause is a heck of an effort regardless of your views on Toby and his on-field shenanigans!

English (114) – Seriously, could it be any better scripted for English and his owners? Flynn = late out. Preuss = injured in Q1. Absolute scenes for all concerned. Had another field day against unrecognised ruck men in Keeffe and Himmelberg!

Himmelberg (99) – Coaches who took a punt will be well pleased! Thankfully, fantasy scoring is not affected when you lose 1v1’s against two foot two opposition (Rhylee West!). Also spent a bit of time in the ruck after Preuss went down.


Kelly (73) – Awesome Josh, really great man. As soon as you pump up his tyres, he goes and delivers sub-standard scores of 95 and 73… Classic. Wasn’t even getting tagged this week, just turned into a crab for 120 minutes!

Preuss (14) – Dear oh dear. Coaches would have been low-key vibing when they heard big Flynny was a late out! Fast-forward half an hour and Preussy has done an ankle… I mean, can you be that salty given how many coaches bacon he saved early in the season?

Angwin (11) – Another basement rook who a few would have taken… unfortunately could not finish the game due to injury. Cash gen? Absolutely donuts.

Gold Coast vs Crom


Laird (124) – Much like Macrae, the man just racks up disposals in his sleep! Had another 42 today to go with 4 marks and 6 tackles. Right up there with the best!

Dawson (118) – Gun. Ball, pill, aggot, nurrie? Doesn’t matter what slang you use to describe the Sherrin, Crom want it in his hands and Fantasy coaches are being rewarded handsomely!

Rowell (106) – Hahaha what a troll from the red-headed, Harry-high pants type operator… Back to back tons well and truly after eeeeeeeeveryone jumps ship. Took a whopping 2 marks today taking his season tally to a seismic 10!

Soligo (78) and Parnell (75)


Touk (90) – Yeah I hear you… 90’s okay isn’t it? Sure, it’s not catastrophic but that’s close to 15% below his season average and some coaches were stitched up with a mediocre captain’s score! Not ideal in the slightest.

Keays (75) – A 3 round average of 84 and a 5 round average of 86… Not sure what has happened here? Any Crom supporters out there want to fill us in?!

Jeffrey (44) – Still $$$ to be made here but you suspect his best money making days are behind him!

The Juggernaut Review

1642. Hahahaha. Laughing stock.

Get this – Genuinely lost a league match against a mate of mine who couldn’t field 18… that’s where we’re at. It was 18 vs 17 and the Juggernauts found a way to lose. Comical. Not sure how Jack Macrae hasn’t busted both shoulders after the biggest carry in living memory!

Just listen to some of these pus unique scores:

65, 67, 44, 44, 48, 27. I had one bloke (Macrae!) out of 12 uniques get to triple figures… in stark contrast to my mate who shat all over me with six tons from his 11 uniques.

And to top it all off?

There’s at least four injuries to deal with… Dorko, Max, Little Flog (Butters) and Teakle. Unfortunately, 2 doesn’t go into 4 so here we go again chasing ass… Something I’ve become accustomed to at the Juggernauts in 2022. Despite my largely pessimistic outlook on all things fantasy in 2022, I may as well take the glass half full approach – adversity breeds opportunity!

We are now out of the byes and into the home stretch… For those coaches vying for a spot in the finals, you have 10 trades left between now and the start of round 19 when it heats up a notch! Paying attention to the little things like upcoming draw could be the difference between glory and heartbreak. Trade wisely…

Thanks again legends and flex how you went in the comments!

Yours in Fantasy,

Fantasy Fanatic #70


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