Footy is back and with that the ups and downs of being a fantasy coach… Being a fantasy coach is like riding an oscillating wave where you enjoy the highest of highs and suffer through the lowest of lows, seemingly with an uncanny predictability about it… Okay, maybe a bit dramatic, but you get the drift!
Let’s get stuck in to the weekend that was – round 1 edition!
Melbourne vs Western Bulldogs
Studs
Bazlenka (154) – Wowee, what a start to the season for the flowing mullet! Probably racked up more fantasy points than insta followers over the duration of the game! Can’t see him pushing a top-8 mid position but nice draft slider.
Petracca (146) – 3 votes… C.Petracca. Enough said.
Macrae (120) – Death, taxes and J.Macrae tonning up in fantasy. Just another day at the office for Macca with 39 touches!
Dunkley (103) – Mid role, tick. Started on-ball in what was an industrious display from Duncs.
Oliver (100) – Imagine if the fiery ginger didn’t give away 7 free kicks! That’s Shane Mumford like numbers… Should push a 110 average this season given the Dees form.
Duds
Max (79) – True to form, continued with his sub-par round 1 performances. Including this score, his round 1 scores over the past four seasons include 73, 73 and 68… Definite hold but any danger of starting the season with a bang Maxxy!
Hunter (58) – Yuck… Not who he once was from a fantasy perspective.
Cordy (15) – 3 touches in 84% time on ground – genuinely hard to do! You gotta think the 4.62% that own him are in some sort of psychological mindfuck distress.
Salem (3) – Went off with a knee injury which was stiff. Spare a thought for the 12% of coaches who own him! Will be cheap as chips when he strings a few games together on return.
Richmond vs Carlton
Studs
M.Kennedy (122) – Bang! Showed that his 130+ in the AAMI series was no fluke, posting 33 disposals and a goal on his way to 122. Kennedy always had scoring pedigree and has clearly worked on his rig over the preseason to play as an inside mid. $720K and <2% ownership in classic… Very nice draft slider also!
Cripps (112) – To copy a mate of my and his Fantasy team name – You Bloody CRIPPA! Picked up where he left off in the AAMI Series, moving freely and playing as that bull that we all known and love. Kicked 3 goals to get to 112… Don’t expect 3 goals every week but hopefully for owners he hits that triple figure average.
Cerra (110) – Carlton midfield were all over the Tiges and Cerra cashed in with 30 touches and 2 goals. Don’t think he’ll challenge the top-8 mids but a good stepping stone to a big dog nonetheless!
Docherty (95) – Great have you back, Doch!
Hewett (91) – Very solid outing from the new recruit. Midfield role was there and should continue with Walsh out for at least another three weeks. Should see a decent price spike.
Duds
The WHOLE Richmond team – all 23 of them. Where do I start…?! The top scoring Tiger was Marlion Pickett with a paltry 84! That’s not a typo, 84 was the top scorer…
Slim Dusty (71) – All the pundits seemed to be frothing over Dusty’s ‘scary’ preseason and what he may be able to produce. I was never convinced… any danger of laying a tackle slim?! You guessed it, Dusty ended the night with 0 tackles and 48 ineffective pressure acts (only slightly exaggerated)… Until he can show some defensive hunger I won’t be touching him!
Short (68) – C’mon Jayden… you roped us in with an elite performance in the AAMI Series and then you serve up this. He is fast becoming ‘Mr Preseason’ and for good reason… Why in the world was Dylan Grimes kicking in at one point… that’s your role! It’s a definite hold but coaches would love to see a response in round 2!
Rioli (56) – Really awesome, Dan! How much to get Bachar Houli out of retirement?!
Gibcus (35) – Okay, this one may be a bit harsh but… 6 points in a half of footy?! Was looking fine with 29 to half-time. He’ll be better for the run and clearly a talent. I am crossing my fingers and toes he can be a solid contributor. A fractured thumb to forward Jack Riewoldt should help his job security with Balta likely to play more forward in Jack’s absence.
Zach Williams (31) –
C.Curnow (31) – For his 5.6% of owners – proceed to delete team. Completely irrelevant.
St Kilda vs Collingwood
Studs
Lipinski (117) – The former Dog was everywhere in the first half, racking up touches for fun! Expect that 2.9% ownership to rise in the coming weeks. Many coaches were put off by his ankle injury sustained in the AAMI Series. Lipinski proved he was ready to go with a fantastic display – Pies have done well on the recruitment front.
Hayes (111) – My word what a story this man is! In the space of 3-4 months, Hayes has gone from part-time concreter to game changing spearhead… 18 touches, 10 marks, 3 goals – couldn’t ask for much more on debut! Most of us would have started him on the bench but will reap the cash generation!
Marshall (108) – True to form, dominated as the #1 ruck with Ryder out of the side… I can’t see Ryder playing a lot in the short-term with Hayes’ brilliant debut! A worthy alternative to the two big ruck dogs.
De Goey (107) – Fit, never been fitter… must have been a gruelling offseason running from the authorities! May have had more scoring shots (5) than off-field indiscretions over the 2021 summer!
N.Daicos (102) – How this kid slipped to #4 in the draft is beyond me. He’s already taking the piss at AFL level, having the audacity to kick on his left foot just because he can! I suggest the 30% of coaches who don’t own Whisper proceed to delete team.
Duds
Adams (71) – Can’t have a bloke who is $800K+ and made of chalk dishing up 70’s… Could be cheap in a few weeks if he keeps it up!
Crisp (51) – Give a guy a pump up and this is what he does to you… Mason Cox wearing his speed dealers literally got within 10 fantasy points of you Jack! It’s a definite hold but you’re better than this Crispy!
Owens (22) – On debut, 49% time on ground tells you everything you need to know. Back to the 2’s Mitchito.
Geelong vs Essendon
Studs
N.Martin (130) – There’s a new Martin in town… what an absolute weapon! Watching a chunk of this game, you could tell the lad has fantastic game sense and knows where to be to receive the ball. The pundits were worried about his job security given his reduced time on ground (42% – for 57 points mind you!) in the AAMI Series. He put those doubters to shame with one of the great debuts of all time! Will be the most traded in player in the game this week.
Merrett (119) – 39 touches in a 60+ point loss – you take that every day of the week! Just when you think Merrett is having a quiet patch he pops up for a cheap +6 or handball received. Guys that are all-round scorers are worth their weight in gold!
Danger (108) – Set the tone early for the Cats when the game was up for grabs. Lowest ownership (3%) in a long time and could be a cheeky POD if you’re game!
Caldwell (103) – $488K with 9% ownership – great selection (so far…) from those coaches that ran with him. Let’s hope he isn’t destined for the same fate as last year where he pinged his string in round 2 and did not return for the rest of home and away season.
Stengle (100) – Huge from the Richmond and Adelaide reject! Feasted on Geelong’s domination, kicking 4.3 on his way to that ton. Don’t expect 7 scoring shots every week but enjoy the $$$ he will make for you!
Duds
C.Guthrie (84) – Yeah this may seem harsh but you’re not coughing up >$900K for mediocrity!
Ridley (59) –
Heppell (55) – Looked slow floating around on a half-back flank… 94% time on ground for 55 points. Will turn 30 this year and to quote one of my mates “wouldn’t touch him with a 10 foot pole!”
Baldwin (28) – A nervous debut from Balders… should be better for the run but this really stings for the 35% of coaches who own him! Unluggy to anyone who fielded him.
Sydney vs GWS
Studs
Tom Green (133) – Beast mode activated! 31 disposals and 17 contested possies from the Canberra product. Looks as though he will be trusted to play more midfield minutes this season… let the points roll in!
Taranto (128) – Silenced all the doubters (myself included – D’oh!) in what was a great all-round day at the office. Was on for 140+ if he kicked straight! Got it done both forward and on-ball, particularly in the second half.
Heeney (121) – Forward? Midfield? It doesn’t matter for a man of Heeney’s quality. 3 snags to go with his 21 touches, 5 marks and 6 tackles. Could go to the next level in 2022 if that performance is anything to go by!
Parker (119) – 3 votes… L.Parker. Vintage Parks with 5 goals from 21 touches! Very nice draft slider and <1% ownership in classic…
Duds
Shitfield Whitfield (69) – Pathetic Whitters. When you order Jakey Llooooooyd on wish. In all seriousness, its a definite hold and he’ll be a top 6 defender – don’t panic!
McInerney (43) – Who? Not sure what all the hype was about here… Congrats Justin, you outscored big Coxxy and his speed dealers by 2 points!
Buddy (39) – *shudders* really hope no one ran with the Budweiser! When will he bring up the monumental milestone? 996 down, 4 to go!
Sheldrick (28) – Tough on a rookie but any danger of bringing up the 30 Gus?!
Brisbane vs Port Adelaide
Studs
Houston (150) – Houston, we don’t have a problem… he was everywhere collecting 36 disposals and kicking 2.2. He’s burnt many a coach previously, but we all know what he is capable of on his day!
Neale (118) – Started slowly but had a huuuuge second half to post his first of many tons for the year. Great value at <800K and should push a 110 average. Despite all the fresh faces in the Lions midfield, he is still the main man in that engine room.
Boak (115) – Ageing like a fine wine, still has the trademark pace off the mark and clearly has not lost his ability to find the footy!
Byrne-Jones (100) – Nice start to the season for DBJ, with only 1% ownership, a cheeky POD for the adventurous coach.
Duds
McLuggage (62) – Really Luggage? More letters in your surname than you had touches turbo. Massive price drop incoming!
Rayner (51) – Plenty of hype around this man in the preseason and he barely scrapes a half ton… Be better Cam.
Zorko (32) –
Rozee (21) – Missing person – last seen at the Gabba around 7:10pm Saturday night Queensland time.
Hawthorn vs North Melbourne
Studs
Hall (125) – It’s honestly ludicrous how fantasy friendly Hall’s role is. He has a monopoly on kick-ins and is like a seagull to chips with his cheap +6’s that he racks up all day long! Disgusting. He is over $900K for a reason…
LDU (121) – Is 2022 the season LDU realises his potential and becomes one of the game’s elite midfielders? He was on fire early with 7 touches in as many minutes and carried on for a big ton! His second in a 51 game career.
Moore (111) –
McDonald (109) – It’s easy to forgot McDonald’s dominant second half in the corona season (2020) where he averaged a massive 112! He was a brick wall at times back in D50 for the Kangas, taking a heap of intercept marks.
Sicily (96) – Solid afternoon at the office for the Sic dog, owners would be well pleased with his output and role. Took a number of kick-ins, lurked around for a couple cheap +6’s and got involved with his intercepting game. Big tick.
Duds
Wingard (55) – Sh*t hair, sh*t performance. Enough said.
Thomas (49) – Anyone get roped in to the preseason hype…? Was barely sighted the entire afternoon and didn’t seem to be playing on ball as forecasted by many a pundit!
Worpel (36) – Wow. The worpedo really crashed and burned. Unfortunate if you happened to pick him up in draft…
Adelaide vs Freo
Studs
Keays (132) – Massive game from Benny! Seemed to relish Laird being out of the side with more midfield minutes up for grabs. Took the opportunity with both hands, finishing the day with a lazy 37 disposals! POD anyone?
Brayshaw (120) – This kid could go next level this year… Mundy isn’t getting any younger, Fyfe is out of the side – the stage his set for Bray to become that main man in the Freo engine room. Surely will cop attention from opposing teams…? Seemed to be left alone far too often out the front of stoppages today.
Rachele (100) – Wowee, Rachele with the Michelle! That was a mesmerising performance on debut, he almost single-handedly lifted the Crows to victory with 5 snags of his own. If this is anything to go by, he can stay on our fields for the foreseeable future!
Chapman (51) – Sh*t fantasy game from you Chappy but hundreds of thousands of tipsters all over the land love you right now!
Duds
Serong (69) –
Milera (50) – Come on Wayne, just scrape together a 60 man! The long layoff really showed. Milera seemed to be playing down back and then went forward with star recruit Jordan Dawson heading to half-back in the second half. Not sure if there is a spot in the side for him as a forward…
Ryan (45) – You don’t pay >$700K for that tripe! Can’t trust a guy with two first names! The 4% of coaches who own him would be lining up a rage trade as we speak!
Soligo (17) – 5 touches and 63% game time tells you everything you need to know. Job security is dicey at best!
West Coast vs Gold Coast
Studs
Rowell (117) – Can’t believe I was considering not starting with the red-headed, sunscreen loving gun. He was the most dominant mid on the ground and looks set for a monster season. Lived up to the preseason hype! Somehow played on after getting poleaxed by Willie Rioli late in the 3rd!
Gaff (100) – He burnt soooo many coaches in 2021 with his military mediocrity... If Gaff can average triple figures, you are absolutely taking it! Thrives on possession footy and loves the wide open expanses of Optus. Not sure if there will be many easy touches for the Weagles this season – pass for me.
Jones (97) – Now here’s one guy that cashed in on the Eagles depleted line-up. Played a fair bit through the midfield and had got to 70 by half-time! Could be a decent cash grab if you have nothing else pressing…
Duds
Weller (60) –
Naitunui (48) – Never been a good fantasy player… some things never change!
Dixon (32) – Nothing screams top up player more than a performance like this… Hey, at least he is a heartbeat for us on the bench!
The Juggernaut Review
1937. So far behind the eight ball it’s not funny! Somehow lost a league match to a mate of mine who’s been favourite for the spoon every season in living memory! Jonah, expect a DM in the coming days with the username and password for Fantasy fanatic – you can take it from here my friend.
Underperforming premiums and over-performing rookies… who writes this sh*t. In what universe does Nic Martin outscore Jack Crisp and Jayden Short combined?! Pull your fingers out lads! You to Shitfield Whitfield and Max…
Nothing compounds when you are behind the eight ball quite like forced trades do… F*ck I hope Brodie is okay – he was looking the goods until he came off part-way through the last quarter. Nothing has been reported as yet so let’s hope he’s fit for round 2! Ward and De Koning are big blows as well… thankfully it is something 50% of coaches will also be dealing with. Three doesn’t go into two unfortunately so straight away someone may be riding the pine doing sweet FA… Imagine running your own fantasy footy website and being so far back in the pack after the first weekend!
Early thoughts on trades are Ward out (if he doesn’t get up) and via DPP get J.Smith in to the backs, Rachele joins my midfield at M8 and De Koning goes to utility with Nic Martin a definite starter this week! Fingers crossed Brodie is okay as I really did not want to have to trade him out this soon… he’s got money to make!
Let me know your early trade thoughts in the comments below. Best of luck for next week legends!
Yours in fantasy,
Fantasy fanatic #70
Fantasy Fanatic 
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