Rollercoaster. That’s my best description for the events of the weekend! Coaches got the full experience with the highest of highs and the lowest of low… it’s uncanny how predictably unpredictable this game is! If round 4 taught us anything it was the age-old rule of thumb: Don’t trade your premos! We had the big dawgs rise to the top which had many well on their way to cracking 2100! Then on Sunday afternoon, the equivalent of shooting Bambi turns nightmare into reality… Our main man Paddy Cripps goes down with a left hamstring injury! Honestly, why in the f*ck do we keep playing this cruel, merciless game every year! Plenty to rant about this week…
Round 4 is done and dusted… must be time for The Weekend That Was!
Melbourne vs Basket Case (Port Adelaide)
Max (140) –
Boak (127) – My word how about the ceiling of this ageless gun! He’s averaging 126 over the first 4 rounds… Bonkers!
Bonner (125) – Outlier. Generally not a great sign when three of your top four scorers are defenders (Jonas 109 and Burton 107)! No value in point chasing here.
Petracca (77) – Had Willem Drew for company with whispers he followed CP5 to the shitters at half-time… Taggers – an absolute stain on the fantasy game!
Oliver (68) – Not too sure what happened to Clarry? Seemed to be around the footy a lot… Team mates seemed to be bypassing him like a bad smell… Anomaly and will bounce back.
Bowey (42) –
F*ck sake you pale ranga midget muppet spud! Really Jake?! We only turned to you after we figured out the defender rooks were about as useful as a screen door on a submarine! That D6 position will be the death of me…
Wines (36) – Went off feeling dizzy and nauseous, experiencing heart palpitations… I’d get heart palpitations playing for Port too… In all seriousness, let’s hope Ollie is okay, we know how much strain the heart is under in professional footy and we have seen some scary situations in the past!
Port Adelaide Cheer Squad (-) – Flogs of the highest order! Never tear us apart until we fail to register a goal in the first half… then we’ll go home and sulk about it. Seen better loyalty on Married at First Sight!
Brisbane Lions vs Geelong
No one relevant… though quick shout out to Dan Rich (90) on bringing up the 250 game milestone! Has been a reliable option in defence since the start of last season racking up the kick-ins and handball received!
Guthrie (70) – 1% ownership and with good reason… if you’re an owner, stick a fork in your season – you’re cooked!
Danger (66) – Always seem to have an impact but is losing his ability to accumulate… A big no no from a Fantasy perspective.
Rayner (53) –
Zorko (44) – Wow. It’s basically boom or bust for Zorko at the moment with 2×100’s and 2x<45… About as consistent as Jordan De Goey’s statement when he got ‘bitten by his dog’…
De Koning (35) – If anyone has actually watched a Geelong game you will notice how much De Koning avoids kicking the footy… I’ve seen better use by foot in an Auskick Pro game… The astronaut will have acres of space and they still won’t use him – and for good reason!
Sydney vs North Melbourne
Stephenson (122) – Chompers is back after being omitted just two weeks ago! 24 touches, 7 marks and 8 tackles should keep Nobes and the coaching group happy.
Heeney (111) – “Heeney will play more forward with Papley out early in the season…” clearly did not come to fruition and obviously doesn’t matter anyway! A weekly reminder of how much I’ve butchered my forward line so far this year… Essential.
McInerney (107) – Where was this in round 1 when coaches actually needed you, Justin! You’d be nuts to bring him back in on the back of one good game…
JHF (94) – Looks like a man playing against men in just his 4th AFL outing! Spent more time on-ball which is music to the ears of Fantasy coaches… $$$$$$ incoming!
Blakey (55) – Yewwwwwww, another non-solution to the D6 train wreck! Half-back role is there… but that was utter trash Nick! Why call for the ball when you are under the pump or when your team is in slow play?! Fantasy coaches will love his hunger but I suspect the real coaches will pull him into line this week…
Parker (42) – Actually had no idea Luke was playing… Top 8 mids never serve up sub 50’s!
McCartin (36) – Seriously is 50 too much to ask Paddy, any danger man! The defender rookie situation is dire and round 6 DPPs can’t come quick enough (presuming Daicos adds DEF status!).
Collingwood vs West Coast
N.Daicos (126) – How. Good. Is. This. Kid. Could be right up there with the best rookie seasons of all time when it’s all said and done! Amazing to think that a guy in his 4th game has team mates that look to get the ball in his hands at any opportunity! Takes his season average to 97.5.
Grundy (124) – It was only a matter of time before the Ruck Pig went big! Will make a fool out of anyone who traded him to ‘value’ or to generate cash. Set ‘n’ forget rucks are back in business baby!
H.Dixon (75) – Ooft! Some really handy cash generation for his 42% of owners! Still wouldn’t trust him on field but watch the cash roll in on the bench!
Howe (56) –
McInnes (19) – This performance was about as good as your first name, Reef! Not sure what the ‘rents were smoking! Job security now dicey for those that jumped on…
Richmond vs Western Bulldogs
Bazlenka (131) – Yes Baz, you’ve got a great rig – but surely it’s time to plug your insane Fantasy numbers on your socials – Insta, MySpace, LinkedIn, OnlyFans…? watch the likes and follows roll in and thank me later!
Short (125) – Vintage Jayden! F*ck I love watching this guy as a Fantasy coach… Kick-ins, handball received, cheap +6’s and opponents that give him acres of space… what dreams are made of.
Macrae (130) and Dunkley (129) – Speaking of scoring power! Why do we ever doubt J.Macrae?! Uber premium in every sense of the word. If you traded, prepare for Macca to make a mockery of you!
English (105) – Big Timmy joined in the point-fest with a nice ton of his own! Well and truly vindicating his position in your team at present.
Rioli (102) – 2/4 tons for Dan and his owners – not as much of a ‘Rioli Coaster’ as Willie! Half-back role is there and he is cashing in with plenty of +6’s and snagging the odd kick-in from Short.
Treloar (73) – Seemed to be running around aimlessly chasing kicks half the time… Trelly really relies on the CBA’s and he was not as prominent as a result. It’s a definite hold, however!
Gibcus (42) – This is Josh’s best score so far this season… just let that sink in! Will probably end up being ‘a better player than fantasy player.’
Ugle-Hagan (15) – Surely 3% of the competition taking the absolute P155!
Freo vs GWS
Brodie (127) –
Brayshaw (110) – Broke through the Ash tag like all guns do! Coaches should be well pleased given the close attention Bray was under all night! Showed he can handle it and didn’t drop his bundle when things got tough.
O’Driscoll (109) – Ahhhhhh finally… a defender rookie that has some scoring potential! Will likely be one of the most traded in players this week as we try to band-aid the bullet holes that are D6-D8! Job security should be fine for the time being.
Preuss (85) – Yeah good score Braydon but of course you had to go and ruin it with a brainless high elbow to the head of David Mundy… Preussy lacking brain cells leaves thousands of teams lacking in the ruck department! Happy Easter Blonk, enjoy the week off!
Green (78) – It pains me to do this but Greeny… many a coach pulled the trigger and traded you in to find value and save cash! Early regrets…. I still think he pushes a triple figure average but will he be in the mix for a top 8 mid position?
Cogs (61) – Deary me Cogs… Was looking okay to HT then somehow managed a <20 point second half! Mind-boggling.
Bruhn (37) – Wow, the man hasn’t even got one first name and this is what he’s running with?! Lift Tanner.
Stein (25) – To his 9% of owners… What was going on there in the brain department?! Fun fact: Stein played 6 games in 2021 and only cracked 30 once! Incredibly, that is not a typo… he only managed over 30 once in six outings – genuinely hard to do! Bravo, Jake!
Essendon vs Adelaide
Keays (134) – This guy is mental! 3×130+ scores over the first four games! There are still coaches out there that don’t know who he is… With Crippa potentially out, I suspect he’ll get a bit more fanfare over the coming weeks!
Laird (123) – R.Laird is back in business in the Adelaide midfield… 38 touches and 8 marks if you don’t mind!
Parish (112) – DP just knows how to find the footy… Can he challenge for a top 8 mid spot again in season 2022?
Rachele (101) – This kid is crazy good! Literally playing as a perma full-forward and has hit 2/4 tons so far in his rookie season… Plays like a 150-gamer and Crom fans and Fantasy coaches alike will be cheering they picked this young gun.
Ridley (69) – Word association… mediocre, average, ordinary, passable,
useless hac k, w*nker – you get my drift! 5% of coaches with a headache sitting at D3/D4.
Crouch (66) – Seemed to be squeezed out of the starting midfield with Laird returning to the side over the past two weeks… Certainly a concern given Matt only played 64% of the game. We may need to make trade plans earlier than we were hoping!
ROB (56) – Loped around the field for 120 minutes akin to an uncoordinated giraffe… and that’s an insult to the giraffes of the world!
Schoenberg (49) – A week is a long-time in footy… cliché but even more accurate when it comes to describing your mid-pricers! Lift Harry.
Hawthorn vs St Kilda
Steele (130) – I flagged it during the week, IF Steeley could get his mark-kick game going he could go bonkers… 33 touches and 10 marks – only had the 4 tackles. Just imagine what he could score if he puts it all together… imagine!
Crouch (118) – Brad joined in the midfield scoring feast with a big ton of his own! Can he sustain this elite form?
Sinclair (113) – Sincs and his flying mullet are in fine form! Takes his season average to 102… With 3% ownership – POD anyone?
Ward (27) – Might as well change his first name to ‘Psychiatric’ after a piss poor performance like that! Looked tired out there and could be a candidate for an early rest…
McDonald (25) – Just awesome, Connor! Capped off a horror day for Hawks rooks with a paltry 25… Feel free to pull the trigger if you don’t have another 29 spots to patch up!
Worpedo (10) –
Gold Coast vs Carlton
Williams (137) – Massive from Zac! Probably the softest footballer I have ever seen… but that doesn’t deflect from the fact that he is playing a fantasy friendly role taking bulk kick-ins and snagging cheapies like a seagull to hot chips!
Weller (121) – Coming off a 60 and 72… Credit where credit is due but don’t do it to yourself!
Hewett (115) – You wouldn’t read about it… a mid pricer who is consistent! Anyone who didn’t start with this under priced gem is behind the eight ball – period.
Kennedy (69) – His first blemish in what has been an otherwise outstanding start to the season! Hope you didn’t chase ‘value’ and bring him in last week…
Cripps (36) –
Rankine (24) –
The Juggernaut Review
2159. Pretty good effort given the bullets we copped across round 4! Any non-Cripps owners kissed on the d*ck! Imagine chucking him the C (which was a viable play given his form!)…
Spare a thought for a mate of mine who bought in
pale ranga midget muppet spud Bowey and whacked the C on Crippa! Talk about a double whammy… That would’ve been enough for John’s Juggernauts to fold and never return! The ‘delete team’ meme would have become a reality… and while we’re at it, Easter would have been cancelled! Damo, I applaud you for digging in when it’s all turned to sh*t. You deserve some sort of reprieve from the Fantasy gods!
At least with Crippa a likely out my ‘early trade thoughts’ may actually have some validity! Assuming Crippa has done some damage and is out for multiple weeks, he is a must trade! He is priced awkwardly at $803K so it’s going to take a bit of cash to go to an uber-premo like a Brayshaw or Keays. Some may look to value to save a few $$$. Regardless, I’ll be hoping to bring in a long-term keeper capable of pushing a top 8 mid position come seasons end! Bowey is dead to me right now and has been rage traded but I assume he will make his way back into my team at some point during the week…
Thanks again legends! Who were your studs and duds for round 4? Share how you went in the comments!
Yours in Fantasy,
Fantasy Fanatic #70