Round 23… The penultimate round of the season in fantasy land! By now plenty of coaches will have ‘silly season’ well and truly underway but those who press on have the opportunity for ultimately bragging rights! Let alone those in contention for a hat / major prize – stakers are high this week.

23 down, 1 to go… For the second last time this season it is time for The Weekend That Was!

Collingwood vs Brisbane Lions

Studs

Dependlebury (122) – All class. 35 years old, 378 games later and still pulling out BOG performances! Not overly fantasy relevant now but fun fact: Pendles had eight seasons in a row where he averaged >105… Actual gun!

Zorko (103) – As much as it pains me to mention spaghetti strings as a stud, leaving him alone in 30m of space every time he got the pill was a bold tactic from the cold Pies. They paid for it dearly!

Dev Rob (61) – Yeah shite fantasy score but fit af. Fair to say his myspace and Kik messenger accounts will be blowing up!

Duds

Mitchell (84) – 31 possies for 84 points?! Probably leading the pack for metres lost again. Onya, codge.

Richmond vs Norf

Studs

Sheezel (131) – The future. Chalks up another 38 and 7 marks… Fair to say the Tiges weren’t interested in staying in the same postcode as Sheez let alone put any body pressure on! 53% of the comp on cloud nine.

Slim Dusty (127) – Shades of the Dusty of old about this performance… He just looked on from the first bounce, perhaps someone should retire every week??

Bolton (124) – Shai boy. 25 and 4 goals in another clinic performance!

Ziebell (88) – Thank you, Jay-Z. Would’ve been an easy ton if Clarko didn’t want him to kick a goal so badly… It bought a tear to the eye watching him junk up for +18 in the last few minutes of Q2 for a grand total of -15m gained – legend!

Cotch (70) and JRoo (63) –

Duds

Short (74) – Appeared not to give a flying f*ck at times there… Rolling around in 2nd gear picking daisies. Just no where near good enough when a grand final is at stake!

Simpkin (67) – From prime mover to borderline list clogger… He has it in him to turn things around but 2023 has been a year to forget for Simp and the Roos alike!

Gold Coast vs Carlton

Studs

Newman (125) – He’s always had pedigree from a fantasy perspective dating back to Swans reserves where he racked up fantasy points for fun… A shame Horse didn’t like him as much back then as Vossy does now! Plenty of junk in this 125 – peak fantasy!

Ned Flanders (121) – How good is a late season role change?! Hasn’t go below 90 for 6 weeks and a 5-round average of 104 much better than majority of the ‘premos’ we have been investing in!

Touk (118) – About time, Touk. More of what we have come to expect from Miller over the past couple years. He seemed to be around the footy more this week and reaped the rewards with 29 touches and an impressive 8 tackles.

Hewett (106) – The great equaliser for all the spuds that couldn’t get up to a ‘big dog’… Anyways, you can tell I’m not salty about this at all!

Duds

Cripps (62) –

GWS vs Essendon

Studs

Hulk Hogan (188!) – Hulk 9.1 (55) def Essington 5.6 (36). Like he was playing against Auskickers on Saturday evening… Any Nostradami out there select him???

Green (120) – Stevie Wonder could have seen this one coming. One of the form players of the comp the last fortnight and had 110+ on the Dons earlier this season! Massive.

Berg (114) – Timely. Big from the Berg! Particularly impressive given the lack of ball in the Giants defensive half!

Duds

Parish (96) – So it’s not disastrous but how do you go from 72 points midway through Q3 to 96 for the game when you’re playing at the coalface the whole time?? Hard to do.

Kelly (85) – When the team gets up by 347539 points you’d just expect more – plain and simple Josh.

Maretin Martin (32) –

St Kilda vs Geelong

Studs

Marshall (141) – Colossal. It’s just absurd numbers that this big man is putting up. He would’ve tonned comfortably without his 28 hitouts. Borderline 4th midfielder!

Sinclair (136) – Man I love it when opposition teams allow the flowing mullet,+ sized calved genius to run around and do whatever the hell he wants. 38 disposals and 12 marks to the gun!

Stewart (133) – Stewwwwwww. 20 of his 25 kicks meant absolutely nothing for the game – as coaches we love to see it!

Duncan (115) – The Orchard once again thriving in purrrfect conditions. You wouldn’t read about it!

Steele (115) –

Duds

Hawkins (51) – Sucks to suck, Hawk. Enjoy the early holiday.

Henry (9) – Has more letters in his full name than he had fantasy points… Yeah, just let that sink in!

Crom vs Sydney

Studs

Desk Pig (118) – Death, taxes, and the Desk Pig turning up for his coaches week in week out. Another 31 touches and 8 disposals to the jet. Rolls into a juicy West Coast fixture next week… Only issue is they really don’t have anything to play for now!

Goal Umpire (-) – Will poll maximum votes in the Bobby Skilton Medal…

Duds

Blakey (67) – Cold-blooded Lizard in game 100…

Mills (51) – From a coach whose opponent had you unique on our prelim final clash – thanks Cal. His role stinks, his form stinks, his fantasy game stinks, everything about him at present stinks.

Keays (35) – An absolute dagger to anyone still holding… As soon as Crouch returned and was playing bulk midfield minutes, we had to pull the trigger. Realistically this should have been a 40 but would never have escaped a mention in the duds!

Western Bulldogs vs West Coast

Studs

English (146) – Inevitable. I mean the loss is f*cked but Timmeh had another field day. Could’ve been 180 if they enlisted him to kick-in after last weeks exploits!

Treloar (143) – LFG Ads! Love his second to the ball attitude to add 56 points alone in tackles! What a clutch time to pull out a season best.

Bont (140) – After a mare start came home with a wet sail including a 10-15 min patch where he caught fire and added 50 points! Another 32 touches and 10 tackles for the Doggies champion.

Cripps (116) – Clearly the alpha Cripps!

Duds

Marecare (51) –

Williams (30) – Who???

Melbourne vs Hawthorn

Studs

Amon (121) – Can’t believe I am saying this but Karl Amon has 5 tons on the trot! Any draft owners on this diamond in the rough?!

Rivers (108) – Geez coaches who gambled on this mid-pricer part way through the season left wondering what could have been… 27 touches and 10 marks to the half-back flanker!

Duds

Sicily (78) – About as useful as the “ueue” in “queue”. Thanks for nothing.

Petracca (71) – Elite timing for your worst score of the season, Trac. He did salvage things a bit late but for coaches running with him unique this was no where close to expectations!

Oliver (66) – Hard to imagine how this man could have been one of the most traded in players with Finn Maginness in the opposition team for the weekend… Those who got on really made their own bed here!

Port vs Freo

Studs

Ryan (122) – After a fortnight of sub 80 scores, Ryano bounced back with a trademark 22 kicks (3 handballs) and 9 marks! Ceiling has always been in his arsenal so you wonder if coaches will take a punt with Hawthorn to come?

Brayshaw (121) – Classic Bray, as close to a ‘set ‘n’ forget’ player as you’ll see. The question will be: Does he cop the Finn Maginness tag for R24? I think owners have reason to be nervous!

Butters (115) – Atta boy Zak! 3 round average of 115 to be one of the best forwards in the business at present! Another 32 and a nomination for goal of the week (sadly, not worth more fantasy points!).

Duds

Sewrong (86) – Harsh but when teams are posting 2500+. 80’s look sh*thouse, it’s as simple as that!

Sturt (22) – Might be playing for Sturt next week if that’s what he’s running with.

The Juggernaut Review

2441.

Enough to get yours truly through to multiple grand finals! In a weekend of shear luck, I sit in front of the results to see literally everyone else (yes, those in ‘minor’ finals) go 2500 and beyond. It is usually by this point in the season when everyone has a ‘full premo’ side – it’s just about who can fire on the day! Anyways, if I can keep the ranking below 5 figures I’ll cop it on the chin.

The Big Dance is finally here! From my end, under no circumstance will J.Marecrae (yes I spelt it wrong intentionally) be taking the field for John’s Juggernauts. I wouldn’t be that shocked if he gets dropped with Libba on return. He’s the human equivalent of a participation trophy.

Anyway, I’ll keep my second trade under wraps given I have already shown my cards for the first… My advice remains exactly the same as the last few weeks: Pick blokes with favourable match ups – all they have to do is be one week wonders for you to claim some (metaphoric) silverware, or dare I say it a hat or major prize!

To all in grand finals, may the best team win! For those out, enjoy footy trip.

So how did we all go in the penultimate week of fantasy finals? Flex your score in the comments below!

Best of luck next week legends!

Yours in Fantasy,

Fantasy fanatic #70