Round 22… Week two of finals in fantasy land – whilst many push ahead to prelims with bigger fish to fry, it’ll be curtains for many as they crash out and head on annual leave for a little while!

As always, plenty to rant and rave about!

22 down, 2 to go… Time for The Weekend That Was!

Collingwood vs Geelong

Studs

J.Daicos (124) – Daicos of the J variety getting amongst just about every stat in the absence of brobeans Nick. Not classic relevant but draft owners surely have tickets on themselves after this!

Jezza (112) – Masterclass. That was tapped, Jez. Even though you took a mark out of bounds and kicked a goal from outside the field of play off a HB received – credit where credit is due!

Duds

Stewart (72) –

De Goey (72) – Thought that little corky he had midway through the game would’ve been a convenient excuse to get back over to Bali for a pre-finals getaway? Idk anyone keeping up with his phat contract know if there are any ‘Bali-related’ clauses?!

Eastlake vs Queanbeyan

Studs

McGinness (183) – Not sure about the legitimacy of the fantasy score… In all honesty, Benny Mac you are a champion. 100 games for Eastlake Footy Club is a massive achievement. Your ability to shift the atmosphere with your presence and carry inspiration is unrivalled! Props to you, Benny Mac.

Duds

#20 for Queanbeyan (???) – enjoy watching finals from the stands, chief.

Norf vs Essendon

Studs

Alpha Martin (129) – That’s f*cking better, Nic! More of what I expected when I tipped you as an elite POD for the final six games of the season. 32 touches and 3 goals – probably racks up 3 at the Brownlow!

Parish (112) – Reliable, trustworthy, steadfast, dependable, stable. Gun.

Sheezel (110) – The facts is – the man is a machine. Everytime he has an average game, he seems to bounce back with two or three elite performances consecutively. Hard to find in a kid so new to the top level!

Duds

McGrath (69) – Probably the runaway winner of the overhyped, underwhelming selection of the season award…

Goldy (28) – Yes picking on an old fella here but he had 23 of his 28 points in +1’s (hitouts). No easy feat, Goldy!

Sydney vs Gold Coast

Studs

Lloyd (105) – Llooooooooyd. 5% of the competition and Brian Taylor happy.

In terms of studs other than Lloyd… Cue the cricket noises! No one decided to turn up for week two of finals!

Duds

Touk (79) – Geez, hopefully you did get rid of him following his squirrel grip on no nurrie Zorko… 22 disposals and a goal but struggled to fill the stat sheet!

Mills (69) – He has two scores over 71 in the last five weeks… Yeah, just let that sink in. Probably ruined a few multis as well after managing a paltry 16 disposals!

Brisbane vs Crom

Studs

Laird (126) –

Luggage (120) – Elite. To put it into perspective, the next best muppet Lion scored 83… 28 touches and 2 goals in a Luggage masterclass!

Crouch (103) – The resurgence continues! He looks good in the middle getting his nose in the trough feeding it out to the speedier likes in the side. The role should be fine for the last fortnight for those considering jumping on!

Duds

Neale (80) – Pox. Actual horseshit Lachie. 5 round average of 85 is just not going to cut the mustard this time of the year. Really hope no one had him as a unique?! Hurts that little bit more…

Keays (65) – Okay so the reality is he should have been out of your team weeks ago… However, the odd coach may have been stitched up with forced trade after forced trade. Hopefully that wasn’t you!

Dunks (61) – Hard to fathom that I could have played Luke ‘Nank the Tank’ Nankervis over this so called ‘uber-premo’ and be two points better off. Riddle me that!

Carlton vs Melbourne

Studs

Newman (138) – Talk about peaking at the right time! Put himself right in the frame as a Daicos replacement and delivered in spades. Very punchable head but he’s gone and racked up 31 and had 9 marks!

Claytonne (126) –

Brayshaw (122) – Industrious. Still had his share of midfield minutes even with Clarry back – Any sneak draft owners out there?!

Cripps (116) – You bloody Crippa! Eight in a row for the Blues and the good news is Crippa hasn’t had to carry the hopes of the club off his own back…

Hewett (111) – Owners as lucky as a squirrel crossing an eight lane highway… He couldn’t get a game ten weeks ago and here he is outscoring the likes of Neale, Dunkley, Merrett and Mills! Conclusive proof we are living in a simulation!

Duds

Max (84) – It was never going to be smooth sailing with Grundy back in the side… You suspect Melbourne may revert to Big Max as the solo man after that!

Grundy (36) – 60% game time… Dare I say it, back to the Magoos.

West Coast vs Freo

Studs

Jackson (103) – Big Jacko in the absence of Darcy goes bang! This could have been a 110-120 if he didn’t have a quiet patch in Q3… Looks a good option with Darcy all but gone for season 2023!

Young (102) – Niiiiiice Youngy! The role change is real and it was there for all to see on Saturday night. It was the eight tackles that will excite coaches rolling into the final fortnight of the season.

Duds

West Coast Eagles Football Club –

Hawthorn vs Western Bulldogs

Studs

Duke Newcombe (159) – Nuclear. 40 disposals and 12 marks – enormous! Has to be one of the better mid-season recruits we’ve seen since it came in to the AFL.

Amon (138) – Gives you an idea of how shite this game was fantasy wise when Karl Amon is getting a shoutout… Did ice the game at the end with an elite tackle so I’ll give him that!

Duds

English (96) – Okay so the score is okay, but Timmeh, what in the flying f*ck are you doing taking a kick-in with 40 seconds to play, taking three bounces for a net gain of 25m then turning it over? Strange world we live in!

Sickest Dog (84) – Yeah you would wouldn’t you champ. As soon as I get on you drop this astroturd. Reminder to self never to listen to Calvin’s Craptains again!

Treloar (72) – About as useful as an elephant in a minefield. Ads, you’re playing midfield all f*cking day… Your role is as good as it gets, perhaps you’re past it!

Macrae (45) – Someone Hack’s Jack’s output actually got worse when Libba went off. Stick a fork in him, he’s cooked!

St Kilda vs Richmond

Studs

Marshall (133) – He is him. Period.

Sinclair (121) – This is what happens when you let Jack do as he pleases roaming off a half back flank! Didn’t even need to tackle to get this score – as close to extracting urine as you will see.

Duds

Crouch (67) –

Port vs GWS

Studs

Houston (129) – Hahaha wow, the Houston selection is probably more of a gamble than putting $100 on black… He backs up a 9 disposal 46 with a 30 disposal 129! Yo-yo on steroids and everything else under the sun!

Butters (121) – Gooooood Zak! Backs up 130 with another standout performance including 34 touches and 9 marks.

Green (118) – Legend. And a genuine trade target! He has 141 and 118 since returning from a 3 week hammy and has Carlton and Essendon in the last fortnight whom he tonned up on earlier in 2023.

Rozee (112) – Genius. Ton run update: Make that 12! If this gun is not in your team not sure why you’re still playing.

Duds

Kelly (73) –

Cogs (63) – Yeah wooooo go Cogs! Great way to finish what was already a bloody fantastic week of fantasy footy (sarcasm, obviously).

The Juggernaut Review

2111.

Lets just say, thank f*ck I wasn’t in any eliminators this week…

An absolute spud farm that even Adam ‘Simmo’ Simpson would be proud of! I don’t think I can continue to say I’ve got blokes ‘underperforming’ when it appears to be the modus operandi for the majority of them. 20/22 blonks average over 90 and I ended up with 7 scores <80.

Anyway, Treloar and Macrab probably survive due solely to the fact that they have West Coast. As for the rest of the turnips, you’re all on notice. Actually, #14 from Sydney, you can see yourself out.

Anyone in favour of a ‘wildcard’ round where you can make up to 22 trades??? Somehow I don’t think that would save the sinking ship!

Anyhow, onwards and upwards to prelim final week! Hopefully a bake for the boys will be enough for them to fire on all cylinders come next weekend. Again, the strategy remains to maximise points and this means that your trading strategy needs to consider matchups. Freo had 7×100+ scores on West Coast, interestingly with a top score of 114. A few doggies may be poised to go off in what will be anticipated as a % booster. There’ll be plenty more diamonds in the rough out there with favourable match ups – question is, will you get it right?

So how did we all go in the second week of fantasy finals? Flex your score in the comments below!

Best of luck next week legends!

Yours in Fantasy,

Fantasy fanatic #70

P.S. Up the f*cking Matilda’s! Get around them this Wednesday night 8pm as they take on the old enemy England in a scintillating semi-final showdown! Cancel your plans, I’ll even be forgoing Wednesday night Social Netty @ #2611 for this!