Round 18… Serong, Cameron, Dunkley (again), Sheldrick, Young, Green and Keeffe – just to name a few of the bullets we were contending with!

Fair to say round 18 was one of those weeks coaches contemplated why they play this game…

18 down 6 to go… Must be time for The Weekend That Was!

Sydney vs Western Bulldogs

Studs

Bont (142) – The man literally did everything on the night. The mouthguard toss at full time reeked of a skipper ropable at another missed opportunity! Did you VC?

English (140) – Speaking of VC’s… This was always going to be enormous. 60 hit-outs. 60! MacLean would be lucky to beat a magoos ruck man let alone a 2m ghost at the peak of his powers. Did someone say All-Australian?

Errol (126) – ImaGiNe nOt oWnIng ErRoL! Every astute fantasy coach (basically everyone else). At least it’s now at the stage where I can just accept it was horseh*t from me and move on!

Libba (116) – Set the tone with about 15 points in the first 38 seconds! Slowed a little but still rolled in another beautiful ton. Draft owners would be strutting around like cockerels.

Duds

Macrae (71) – Yuck. At least now it is 15% of the comp suffering rather than 5%! I daresay J.Macrae will be involved in a few rage trades come lockout lifting.

Mills (71) – Pills, Kills, Callum Mills. That’s all the energy I have for him right now.

Melbourne vs Brisbane Lions

Studs

Max (162) –

Petracca (115) – Also ridiculous. He and Gawn single-handedly got the Dees back into the fight and Petracca was dynamite with 26 touches and 4 goals!

Melksham (87) – Honestly, couldn’t give a flying f*ck about the score but on behalf of all people who tipped the Dees, thanks Jakey! Steve May was particularly psyched!

Duds

Neale (75) – 21 points in a half?! You’re literally at the coalface 95% of the time Lachie. In a weekend of carnage, hopefully this is one you dodged!

Rayner (26) – Probably sleeps with the light on.

Collingwood vs Freo

Studs

Naicos (132) – I’m no footy historian but surely you’d be hard-pressed to find a better second season of footy! Dare I say it we may be locking him in to our squads for the next 10 years.

Adams (125) – An air of 2017 about this performance from Tay… He put on 80+ in the first half in a reminder of what he can do on his day. Strange to think he isn’t really one of the Pies prime movers now!

Jaicos (120) – Deserves a bit of love having clearly put together his best season of his career… At least now we might see actual wing men get selected in their rightful position in the All-Aus team!

Erasmus (115) – A star of the future. Someone had to fill the Serong hole and it was Erasmus. Initially recruited as an onballer has been starved of opportunities but is one to watch in the coming seasons!

Duds

Amiss (19) – Amissing person last seen about 1.45pm Saturday arvo around Yarra Park Victoria…

Gold Coast vs St Kilda

Studs

The Rat (122) – Well over-Dew.

Powell (118) – Where there’s a Wil there’s a way. He was solid as a rock down back – intercepting, kicking-in, linking up in possession chains. One to watch next season!

Touk (108) – Classic Touk. Seemingly took the Dewwy departure personally and finished the day with 25 touches, 8 marks and 5 tackles!

Nas (105) – Whilst every other Saint couldn’t catch a cold, Nas was squeaky clean in possession and with Sinclair up the ground cashed in as the nominated distributor out of the back half once again. Nice POD if you jumped on!

Windhager (100) –

Duds

Rowell (89) – So it’s not catastrophic but Matt, you had 48 in the first quarter! 48. Blistering start in every sense of the word. You should have walked to 100. So what do you do instead? Run around in circles for 90 mins avoiding the nurrie. Thanks chief.

Humphrey (46) – It’s plausible that there are still teams rolling around with a Bear in their squads. Yes, this week was tough but the reality is he should have gone weeks ago!

Carlton vs Port Adelaide

Studs

Houston (156) – Ho hey! Now this is what he can do. What he can also do is single-handedly f*ck your weekend with a 50. I’d strongly advise against point chasing unless you just wanna shoot your shot, live your life.

Rozee (111) – The Roze Royce continues on in style! 28 and 2 goals if you don’t mind.

Newman (108) – Annoying unit but deserves a shoutout for this once in a blue moon performance.

Duds

Walsh (76) – “Yeah, he’ll be fine, he’ll come good” – Me and my fat head. Took as many marks as he has had shaves in his life.

Butters (68) – Dead to me, Zak. I owned you first half of last year nearly had a full blown aneurysm. Then this year decided you’d be a good Dunkley replacement. Mate you scored 3 points in the second half. 3. That’s not gonna do it, turbo. Deadweight.

Mead (17) – Mead for speed? More like Mead for some sort of ability.

Geelong vs Essendon

Studs

Duds

Merrett (80) – On behalf of the Fantasy community, I apologise. I traded in Merrett thinking we were cutting all the BS 70-90 scores… Little did I know this was coming at us! Blasphemy.

Stewart (79) – Speaking of BS scores… At least this was not as out of character as Zachy! In Stewwy’s defence, he didn’t have a lot of work to do back there on the night.

Crom vs GWS

Studs

Desk Pig (131) – Heart and soul stuff from the Desk Pig. Had the wind knocked out of him by some BWS tosser in Q3 and looked sore. In typical Laird fashion, stuck his nose in the trough for 33 disposals and 11 tackles. Legend!

Dawson (123) – Speaking of legends… This man is putting together a season and a half. To put things into perspective, this is Daws’ lowest score in his past month! Inspirational.

Kelly (108) – 6 touches last week, got there in about 15 mins over at the so called ‘Croval’. Living proof that class is permanent!

Cogs (105) – Recovery/10. Phew! It was looking reeeeeeal dire there Cogs – he had about 30 to HT! He then turned it on both with the ball and without it to be in the Giants top handful for the night.

Sloane (57) – Not the result (or fantasy score!) Crom were after but congrats to the Sloane Ranger on bringing up 250 games!

Duds

Keays (70) –

Rachele (45) – Act like a tool, play like a tool. Simples!

Norf vs Hawthorn

Studs

LDU (138) – LDU in full-flight – things we love to see! It was his 10 marks and 9 tackles which really caught the eye. Can he finish 2023 off with a wet sail? The inside mid role isn’t going anywhere!

Worpedo (126) – Surely no one still has him? If you do, please proceed to nearest body of grass – a four leaf clover awaits you!

Sheezel (109) –

Day (106) – Never. In. Doubt. Particularly after yours truly recommended folding this week… Perhaps I’ll just run with ‘fold’ for my whole team and watch the tons roll in? Great all-round game with 26 touches, 4 marks and 7 tackles!

Duds

Sic Dawg (65) – Hahaha what a meme. This game could not have been better set up for the Sic. Playing second bottom under the roof off a three week holiday. Instead of finding the footy, Sic decided to fiddle with himself for the best part of two hours.

Thomas (61) – Not sure if anyone was tuning into the Traders mid-week but surely, SURELY Cal did not trade TT in… Fantasy equivalent of suicide.

West Coast vs Richmond

Studs

Taranto (111) – I mean… It’s technically below his average but this is TT we are talking about! A below average score tops the charts.

Soldo (107) – After a moment of madness from Nank the Tank, Soldo all of a sudden becomes relevant! It’s fraught with all sorts of danger but barring anything going pear-shaped, the #1 ruck role is his for the coming fortnight!

Duds

Hewett (40) – Arrrghhh! Coaches with 358649 forced trades were inevitably left scraping the barrel… And this was it. When they say “It’s supposed to get easier” I don’t think they factored in the utter horsesh*t we have been dished this weekend.

The Juggernaut Review

2253.

Two of my three league games over before they even started – completely shot before Friday morning… Here’s a snapshot of how Thursday night went down:

Don’t ask me why I don’t have Bont and/or Gulden – that’s anyone’s guess! Mills and Marecrae on the other hand… would rather trust a car without brakes. Based on the scoring Mills + Marecrae = Bont. Here’s the maths (uniques) after Thursday night:

John’s Juggernauts: 142

The Fantastic 30 (Coops): 268

What do I go on to lose by? 33 points. Any danger lads?!

Anyway, f*ck this – I’m going to be a Tour De France fantasy guru for the next week.

So how did we all go in round 18? Flex your score in the comments below!

Best of luck next week legends!

Yours in fantasy,

Fantasy fanatic #70